DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

I, Ann Boleyn

Member since 2003 · Posted 31 Jul 2003 · Edited 9 Jan 2006 · 36 comments

You were Henry the eighth, and I, Ann Boleyn, the radical. You told me to suck your dick, I knew I had no choice but remained vigilant as you placed one sand-papery callused hand (and why so callused?) on the back of my delicate neck propelling yourself deeper with each plunge of my rhythm while I struggled to maintain my four legged poise on slippery silken sheets. I knew you wouldnât do your own bidding but my neck stiffened warily as you advanced toward orgasm driving my head more coarsely into your musty crotch. I fought to control the insult of my gag reflex wishing only to glimpse your eyes and hand instead of your legsâ bulging varicose veins. How else to be sure of your temper? Suddenly, pulled on top of you you sluiced in, startling the wind out of me with the dazzle of swift penetration. I looked around, disoriented, wondering how weâd migrated from our royal throne of a bed itâs oaken bedposts ornately carved with optimistic, profane images (to aid in the speedy conception of your heir), to this naked mattress on the floor, grayed fan oscillating its humid breeze, curtainless room dusky with streetlight, your hand, callused from unloading trucks still clenching my hip irritable cat eyeing me as I sighed in dismount.

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36 comments

[8] <~> 31-Jul-03/11:51 AM Reply

heheheheh.
fuck yeh.

[10] horus8 31-Jul-03/12:01 PM Reply

Hilarious

[9] god'swife 31-Jul-03/12:30 PM Reply

Fan fucking tabuless. Some tiny things for flow,like the first parantheticals is that statement neccessary?

with optimistic images of the profane

Hows about- with optimistic profane images

Gray fan oscillating(edit out- at the foot)

You know stuff like that. Nip here nip there. Give it a go. See if you like it more. The last stanza and that switch-a-roo is wonderful writing. You're good.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › god'swife 31-Jul-03/7:09 PM Reply

Thanks for the detailed feedback, I used it in the revision.

[9] poetandknowit 31-Jul-03/12:50 PM Reply

Really, I am shallow and cannot get past the fact that you are an unshaven woman. I am sorry. Forgive me. I knew that plum was yours but I ate it anyway. Besides my narrow-minded view, which again I apologize for, I am quite fond of this.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › poetandknowit 31-Jul-03/7:00 PM Reply

Don't worry about my hairy legs, I get more than you do. Nice research though, I guess I should be honored that you'd feel compelled to know more about the writer. You must not live in Maine, because hairy legs are a way of life (we need the extra hair for the winters). Have you not admired the sexy pit hair of a certain drag queen rock and roll star named "Hedwig"? Did you/do you really go to RISD and not see (and accept) hairyfied women? I used to work at MECA, and I saw nothing but.

[9] poetandknowit › http://mulberryfairy 31-Jul-03/7:12 PM Reply

The one thing I hate worse then unshaven legs (yes, I shave my legs for the pleasure of feeling my smooth silky skin- I am shallow I warned you) is people who love the use of acronyms. What in God's name are you talking about?

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › poetandknowit 31-Jul-03/8:07 PM Reply

Oh, I guess you didn't. I thought I read a comment by you saying you went to art school in Rhode Island (RI School of Design = RISD). MECA is another art school, and school acronyms don't count, cast your acronym judgment on someone who speaks in those ridiculous email abbreviations like "wtf" -those are evil, lazy, and useless and deserve any wrath you can muster.

[9] DurtKL 31-Jul-03/1:56 PM Reply

haha this is great

[9] http://findingwater 31-Jul-03/3:14 PM Reply

wicked hot!

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › http://findingwater 31-Jul-03/6:53 PM Reply

You must've been invisioning the Henry VIII perspective of things.

[10] Lifeboatman 31-Jul-03/9:29 PM Reply

anyone for round two?? 10

[10] horus8 1-Aug-03/1:54 AM Reply

How someone could give a groaning dismount a zero is so fucking beyond me, here.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › horus8 1-Aug-03/7:18 AM Reply

You are so cold. She came, so why not groan in dismount? Moan is too obvious, plus, this is sleep induced sex (with no "rubards" involved, "sweaty pie"), so she's freaking tired!

[n/a] Bachus › http://mulberryfairy 1-Aug-03/5:05 PM Reply

Are you slow? What the fuck are you talking about? You get easilly confused. Here, let me help you Einstein. I said "how could someone give this 'great poem' a zero, as in 0, as in what happens on poemranker often was beyond me. So I gave you a ten, as in 10, to balance off the negativity. So what the hell are you chirping about me being cold, and I told you for christ sake "rubards" are Rhubarb flavored profalactics, are we squared away now? Good god, also you're a great poet, but not too quick, here, let me help you. Poet and growit/ is a sporty cad from Misery missouri who loves to shave scrotum in the dark after pounding a few dozen vodka tonics and Settle/a millionaire million other fucking names on this deplorable cock infection known as poemranker, and he goes to school at RISDI. Okay, now moving on.

[8] abecedarian › Bachus 10-Aug-03/2:19 AM Reply

So we have a triumvirate? How would you describe yourself?

[n/a] Christof 1-Aug-03/2:22 AM Reply

Holy monkey pants. Did you know Anne Boleyn had six fingers on her left hand? I think that's worse than hairy legs. I love the decline into reality at the end of this poem. The calluses of stanza 1 are explained very nicely.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › Christof 1-Aug-03/7:21 AM Reply

Thanks. Six fingers all of her life, or six fingers at birth? I might need to work this in. Was it one of those little stubby deformities with a bone but no joints that is about the size of a section of one of the other fingers, or what?

[8] <~> › http://mulberryfairy 1-Aug-03/8:44 AM Reply

i believe she had them all her life. Anne was responsible for making long flowing sleeves popular, to hide her deformity.

http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Studios/1344/henryfaq.html

[7] deleted user 1-Aug-03/4:32 AM Reply

Oh, no. At least you made it out alive. "Irritable cat" threw me off. Your imagery is incredible; I invisioned every scene perfectly until I saw an irritable feline face pop in out of nowhere. Just didn't like the fact that the cat acts as a catalyst for the "dismount," which is a good awkward word for the ending. 7

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › deleted user 1-Aug-03/7:15 AM Reply

Thanks for the feedback, I'll have to change that around to clarify. The cat wasn't supposed to be the catalyst of the dismount, instead, the lovers came, and then as the narrator dismounted, the cat's sleeping place was disturbed (but I wanted to end with the dismount, not the cat).

[10] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 1-Aug-03/7:53 AM Reply

WOW THIS IS BRILLIANT.

(See, walrus8, what good poetry looks like. Take a good long look. And then go and flush your head down a toilet.)

[n/a] Bachus › wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 1-Aug-03/5:16 PM Reply

I don't understand your comparison. Could you try to be a little more specific without sounding like a talking monotone penis? I believe that might help us bridge our differences. What do you think? Also, why is it that you feel, somehow, god only knows why I imagine, that calling me walrus8 is supposed to be offending to me? You must be either as old as dust, or a completely repressed homonius nerdious of the worst possible scenario. Brother, I will, maintain my composure, and once again offer you my hand in frienship (If it looks like a giant penis, that's okay because that's what my friendship hand looks like, do not fear) Love, dear friend, is contagious, please don't hate me because I love you. It's like struggling in quicksand, try to relax, and let me do all the work. Shhhh. slurp, blurble pop! bloop, gone.

[n/a] Bachus › wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 1-Aug-03/5:23 PM Reply

You must be staring at my zipper. Here, let's slow it down for you... M-o-r-o-n, t-h-a-t'-s probably W-H-Y, I gave it a ten, what makes you think I don't recognize good poetry when i see it? The fact that I think your's isn't? You poor guilt ridden stench. You should abandon all hope and cork off.

[9] Caducus 5-Aug-03/6:43 AM Reply

A disgustingly beautifully repugnant poem on a equally disgusting man who created a church institution that fucked religion in the same way.

Exquisite 9

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Caducus 5-Aug-03/8:05 AM Reply

The reign of Henry VIII will always be overshadowed by the Gentlemanly Conduct he so gallantly bestowed upon his ungrateful wives, but what people don't know is that he was actually a pretty good King. You can't really blame him for creating an institution that "fucked religion". I'm fairly sure that the prostitutes were less dogmatic than the catholics, but maybe not. It isn't the church that fucks up religion, or any other form of religious organisation. Religion fucks religion. I know it's awfully trendy to say you don't believe in organised religion but you do have spiritual beliefs (or whatever) but it is the very notion of "religious belief" - believing something without sufficient evidence - that is at the very heart of the "I'll save my best underpants for Sundays" problem. When people start using a book, written thousands of years ago BY MEN, as a basis for the decisions they make, then it is no wonder such people end up thinking and behaving like people did thousands of years ago. No doubt they'll claim it wasn't written BY MEN but by Jesu, through men. But let's face facts: what a complete load of bollocks. You only have to read about a page of Revelations to realise it was probably written by a drugged horse.

[8] <~> › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 5-Aug-03/8:55 AM Reply

it is fairly obvious that it is written by men. all one need do is examine the first three words of the book of genesis: "in the beginning,".

they clearly impose limits on the limitlessness of the creator.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › Caducus 5-Aug-03/7:14 PM Reply

I don't care about what he did to religion and church, I have been an athiest since my mother couldn't answer my philosophical questions at the age of 6, but I do appreciate that what Henry VIII did to religion eventually led to divorce being okay, and eventually allowed women (and even a handful of gay people) to become active in religion, if they choose. I mean, what if we were still living like those Catholics of his time, women being viewed as corrupted by the devil and unclean, women having to address their husband's formally, etc. I know people think that culture now is too liberal and that the institution of marriage is falling apart, but I believe it is evolving for the better. (Couldn't get any worse, could it?) Thanks for the 9.

[n/a] peaceseeker 23-Aug-03/10:40 AM Reply

I'll have to look this up in a dream dictionary.
Do you feel a resemblance to these characters?
Interesting that the cat played such a significant role in your awakening.
Are you guys enmeshed, or what?

[10] Stephen Robins 23-Apr-04/5:22 AM Reply

Oh Boy, thats real swell.

[9] Dovina 9-Jan-06/8:30 PM Reply

Funny

[9] richa 10-Jan-06/3:45 AM Reply

Ace. You don't have to mention the conception of an heir bit, that is implicit in the whole Henry VIII and Anne boleyn simile. I don't think the repetition of callused works either. If the man works trucks let the reader work out where the calluses come from.

[n/a] http://mulberryfairy › richa 10-Jan-06/7:59 PM Reply

good call, thanks

[10] INTRANSIT 10-Jan-06/8:02 AM Reply

Poems like this make me so proud to be male. not

[7] zodiac 10-Jan-06/8:28 AM Reply

Anne Boleyn is the easiest historical figure.

[n/a] ecargo 10-Jan-06/10:43 AM Reply

Always a crowd pleaser.