Re: to move foward by ay deee |
14-Dec-05/6:32 PM |
s1 -- fun
s2 -- more fun
s3 -- simple, straightforward, but fitting
s4 -- too straightforward in seeming, to me, even though I'm completely not getting line 4; flow seems off, as well, somehow.
s5 -- also not quite fun enough (maybe if you cut 'but alas'). Hmm.
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Re: Static by wilco |
14-Dec-05/6:29 PM |
Hmm. 4th stanza did jump out as jerky before noticing your comment, but I don't know how to be helpful. I'm really not understanding what's going on.
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Re: a comment on Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco |
14-Dec-05/6:25 PM |
I might be ready to strip anon votes from counting.
thanks re: readout--just occurred to me, and it's been forever since I did a little bit of java work (these days it's all about the php).
as for the totally subjective top 20 lists, that's... sort of like the 'favorites' list you can set up? Maybe I should add a "browse favorite lists" or something. Or maybe handpick a few folks' favorites for them to "publish".
Hmm.
Want to continue this in suggestions? ;)
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Re: a comment on One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined |
14-Dec-05/6:17 PM |
Huh.
That works pretty well.
Thanks. :)
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Re: Ode to necrophilia by Bobjim |
14-Dec-05/6:07 PM |
last line's pretty funny.
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Re: a comment on Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco |
14-Dec-05/6:05 PM |
you have any suggestions? :)
you probably have and I've ignored and/or forgotten them, but with the passing of time and memory comes curiosity.
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Re: a comment on donuts and such by skaskowski |
13-Dec-05/5:15 PM |
I'm just not seeing the paster bedposts/fresco connection.
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Re: logan st. by FreeFormFixation |
13-Dec-05/5:14 PM |
crescendo?
pimentos?
cute, but doesn't make it for me.
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Re: zimp by calliope |
13-Dec-05/5:13 PM |
too much fun. makes me want 'Milk Cult' background.
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Re: a comment on Relics in Entropy by PsydewaysTears |
13-Dec-05/5:11 PM |
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Re: I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
13-Dec-05/5:07 PM |
up to "waited for you to invade dreams" flowed well for me, though "I tasted you in mind" started the downfall for me, I suppose. The beginning really needs an ending to make it exceptional, to me, and it doesn't get there.
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Re: I Remember Thinking by BrandonW |
13-Dec-05/5:04 PM |
How in the hell did I get here?
What in the hell am I doing?
I knew I shouldn't have gone to see you!
How could I do this?
-- I don't like those lines. I'm thinking up to that point, the piece might be okay if it were a bit more breathless.
You pretty much completely lost me after that.
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Re: end of the engagement by Mona Lisa |
13-Dec-05/5:01 PM |
feels like it's reaching further than it's grasped.
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Re: Towards the Sun or The keeper of the bay they call a pond by somemorepoetry |
13-Dec-05/4:59 PM |
very much haiku in spirit.
funny, I didn't get "A" or "V" in letters of geese, but then pictured the rest of the poem about their dropped feathers.
hmm.
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Re: Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
13-Dec-05/4:56 PM |
first two stanzas are cute. third really breaks the flow in an unpleasant way.
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Re: War (edit) by zodiac |
13-Dec-05/4:53 PM |
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Re: The Legend of the Crow by TLRufener |
13-Dec-05/4:50 PM |
Reads like a tortured synopsis.
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Re: Oh Merry Fay (part 1) by ALChemy |
13-Dec-05/4:49 PM |
cute jabberwock, but didn't hold me.
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Re: CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY by amanda_dcosta |
13-Dec-05/4:44 PM |
Definite points for saying "I need You, Baby" to Jesus. And you got a nice cadence going. Message is a bit plain and word choice seems forced, but still. "I need You, Baby".
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Re: a comment on Miggy by Everyone |
13-Dec-05/4:42 PM |
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