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Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) (Free verse) by wilco How long ago did you fall out of love?
How long since he's mattered at all?
Maybe there's something left inside,
hidden among the pain and longing.
You've given up but you won't give in.
Taking the long road to go the short way.
If there's any happy days left to find,
you'll find them when you break your heart.
Standing quietly on the platform,
waiting for a train that never comes.
Sometimes you just have to let go, babe.
Face the things that you fear the most,
if for no other reason than to see.
Always talking to the ghosts of your past.
A waterfall coming faster than before.
We're all afraid of being forgotten,
but you're afraid of being remembered.
Always waiting in the wings and stalling.
Bleeding yourself waiting for a push.
But your room's getting smaller these days,
and you're gonna have to see the world.
Sometimes you just have to let go, babe.
...and don't worry...you'll be fine.
Up the ladder:
Damage
Down the ladder:
Waste Of Time
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: April 18, 2004 5:41 PM PDT; Last modified: April 20, 2004 12:43 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.9640274 Overall Rank: 136 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list: sk8rs_rule_all, daveslady, cuddlytiger17, elderking Comments:
[n/a]
ggawrysi @ 147.9.151.22
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18-Apr-04/10:56 PM
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Reply
the problem with writing down lyrics is that, more often than not, it doesn't flow for the reader without a tune behind it. could you write in a tab chart to go along with it? no vote from me; lyrics take on a completely different meaning when put to music.
[n/a]
wilco @ 24.176.102.131
> ggawrysi
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19-Apr-04/1:38 PM
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Reply
Actually, I have no music to go with this yet, and to be honest, I don't know that I'm going to write any. This might should have been called a free verse, but it kind of felt like a lyric....so here we are. If I do write any music for it, though, you'll be the first to know.
no words. cryin
it is especially difficult for a reader of lyrics to imagine the beat, the cant, the rhythm of a song, when it does not rhyme. but, even as a poem, i think this is very good.
I hate to rewrite anyone's poem, but I think you should change these lines: "you'll find them after your heart is broken" and "if for no other reason than to let them go" and "A waterfall coming faster and stronger" and "But your room's getting smaller these days."
Not bad, or wouldn't have gone to the trouble.
Thanks for the feedback, H. I think, though, that to change these lines as you have suggested (and good suggestions they are) would change the meaning of said lines too much. And thanks for pointing out the punctuation error in the room line.
ahh, love songs with trains - gotta love em.
Good one.
i really liked this one. good job!
It makes my heart hurt and that's a good thing.
very good.
I absoutely love the way you write.
thanks.
this shouldnt be # 1, not saying it should be last though. maybe # 10293.
I wholeheartedly agree. This isn't even the best thing that I'VE written...much less the best thing on the site...of course that can be said for much of what's in the top 20. I think there needs to be a better system for determining the top peoms...oh well...what'r you gonna do..I don't run this outfit.
you have any suggestions? :)
you probably have and I've ignored and/or forgotten them, but with the passing of time and memory comes curiosity.
Eliminate anonymous votes somehow. No, I can't think of a way of doing it without chaos ensuing. Maybe an amnesty for all existing anonymous votes, just no more from here out. Of course, it would be hard to replace poems whose scores were already inflated, but it would happen eventually. The current Top 20, by way of example, is mostly legitimate - unlike most of the Top 20s since I've been here. The sad truth, though, is that anonymous votes are only legitimate, like, 5% of the time. Certainly it wouldn't be worth keeping the current anonymous voting system just to allow those genuine casual site visitors to vote, when a good portion of them might just go through the trouble of creating accounts to vote instead.
By the way, cool new vote readout on poem details! The really best way to improve the Top 20 is to solicit totally subjective Top 20 lists from regular users and post them as "User Recommendations" or something such. That would fulfill all the purposes of the current top 20 except 'Winning Poemranker'.
I might be ready to strip anon votes from counting.
thanks re: readout--just occurred to me, and it's been forever since I did a little bit of java work (these days it's all about the php). as for the totally subjective top 20 lists, that's... sort of like the 'favorites' list you can set up? Maybe I should add a "browse favorite lists" or something. Or maybe handpick a few folks' favorites for them to "publish". Hmm. Want to continue this in suggestions? ;)
I was just thinking the same thing about the "publish" button. Check out my suggestion. Tell me what you think.
Or maybe Top 10 lists, linked, in a format like:
zodiac [link to zodiac] 1. Farm animals INTRANSIT Ghazal 5.24;1 2. Waiting Room jessicazee Free verse 5.50;5 3. Blackout, Amman, November, 2005 zodiac Free verse 5.56 4. A country called Cha richa Free verse 5.19 5. The Negro Everyone Free verse 5.17 6. ...So We Stayed In The Water Fear of Garbage Free verse 5.54 7. After seven days in the sun <~> Villanelle 6.67 8. Las Gaviotas Bachus Villanelle 7.64 9. The Gentleman -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. Free verse 6.75 10. Portsmouth belle 2 Garrett S Sexton Free verse 5.91 Dovina 1... 2... AlChemy 1... silver And so on. Of course it would be a lot like Favorites, just more accessible to new users unfamiliar with the site. And of course it would be just as arbitrary (and possibly tpbod would make his Top 10 entirely out of his own poems) but that wouldn't matter. It wouldn't claim to be objective; just a new user's guide, made by current or regular users. Anyway, I might just make an unofficial one myself. There's my current Top 10. Any other takers? Going to Suggestions now...
Good Idea. Why not just arrange your favorites by how you ranked them though? That way you can have a longer list if you want.
The conversation's in Suggestions now, bud.
1. Because as far as other people are concerned, your favorites are automatically arranged newest to oldest. 2. Because a new user on the site looking for good poetry won't know to look at your, AlChemy's, favorites. They will know to click a link for "User's Top 10s" or something such. 3. Because a longer list would be kind of wearying. 4. Because it would encourage people with only a few favorites marked to really stake out their 10 favorite favorites. 5. Because everybody's Top 10s on the same page would have the same effect as a working Top 10 page - ie, you'd see that several people had chosen "Flowers for Monet", by Shuushin, while only thepinkbunnyofdoom had chosen all thepinkbunnyofdoom posts. It would make self-aggradizers more obvious, and force people to think about other posters besides themselves.
Yeah, I didn't realize you meant a go to favorites link at the sites main page. My bad. I see now. I hope nentwine does it.
I'm surprised nobody has tried to do a best of Poemranker book.
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