Re: Spread Deep in Fresh Meat by abecedarian	14-Oct-03/7:14 AM
first verse could do with being a bit sharper. Other than that yes, seems to say something, what will be will be
Re: Primal Reality by peaceseeker	7-Oct-03/12:25 PM
the individual verse don't seem to hang together very well. like the little rhymes running through the first verse, and flocks and hops
Re: Who are the best poets on poemranker? (A list by me) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	7-Oct-03/9:04 AM
mr pig?
Re: Ravens Flight - Voices of Spite (My First Ever Vilanelle) by Don-Quixote	7-Oct-03/6:09 AM
OK mainly flows I think, and some nice material bit too slow though for the repetition to kick in gay is too easy a rhyme, and is far more loaded to meaning homosexual, which would mean your feathered foe was singing something like Y.M.C.A.
Re: silent struggle by princesszoe	7-Oct-03/6:03 AM
all the deepest's protest too much of your feelings. and tears drip from the depth? upwards?. But there does seem to be a poem here, a skeleton of feeling
Re: Orchidess by abecedarian	7-Oct-03/5:35 AM
overall a good complete poem. I don't think you need the lines 'gametic knife' or 'allure abounds'. Such phrases are already inferred I think. This poem has a certain frisson without.
Re: such a horrible thing to waste by Freethinker1602	6-Oct-03/10:59 AM
I think a pimple should be unsubtle, but still express some kind of emotion. Flow is good, kind of like conversation
Re: My love for Katie by Stephen Robins	6-Oct-03/10:51 AM
If you are a stranger making lewd comments about a young katie, then you are disgusting. If she is your sister or something, I guess it is OK
Re: the meeting by richa	6-Oct-03/10:38 AM
trying to get a feeling of physical distance with the last line.
Re: Drunken Night by Ataryu	5-Oct-03/1:10 PM
'Now I die' seems hyperbolic and a lot of the rhymes seem forced 'knee/me, swim dim' Still fast flowing and not too painful
Re: Blissful the Fungae Forest by peaceseeker	5-Oct-03/1:05 PM
the rhythm breaks down a bit at 'through the mountain valley blissful the fungae forest meaty mushrooms' overall it flows pretty well though like the leafs fall at the beginning, could do with compacting though
Re: Painted Air by New Life Drug	5-Oct-03/12:53 PM
well carried, nice rhythm, a little prosaic. And crickets never sing through all four seasons was my favourite phrase
Re: Bar Tale 2.0 by jessicazee	5-Oct-03/12:45 PM
white and irish - cant be a gangster then. It isn't really much of a poem, but it is a well structured story (providing it is going anywhere)
Re: On the Occasion by tadpole	3-Oct-03/8:51 AM
not sure about the rhyme at the end of each verse, too many words seem to interfere in between, such as whom and you. overall pleasant,
Re: Tailor Made by OnTheOtherHand	3-Oct-03/8:40 AM
the moral of the story? I guess that you should not have given away the suit. If you have no use for a suit ther is precious little point in keeping it even if it does fit well. That electric chair is damn comfy. The poem I found flowed well but seemed a little odd.
Re: The Love of -=Dark_Angel=- and J.B.Manning by ho_hum	1-Oct-03/11:26 AM
Stop writing about dark angels trite love life noeone gives a shit
Re: EGG by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	30-Sep-03/7:28 AM
great clarity, you are obviously a man who has no trouble grappling with your immense intellect.
Re: Perversions 8: The Reckoning by razorgrin	30-Sep-03/7:27 AM
the last one, I seem to forget what you were supposed to rhyme the last line with. Other than that good rhythm, and in the spirit of a limerick
Re: Love doggerel by thavimatola	29-Sep-03/1:34 PM
Like it, especially the refreshing rhymes in the first verse
Re: Wasted Words by ho_hum	26-Sep-03/2:25 PM
the last line I think is wasted, as it has been explained in the rest of the poem. the breasts into an undersized bra, unwilling? anthropomorphism?