Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Drunken Night (Other) by Ataryu
Vision blurs, A bunch of slurs, Drank to much wine, Can’t walk the line. I've been cuffed, The back seats ruff, The windows open, And im a jumpin. Cars swirve by me, I fucked up my knee, Keep running for the river, Now it’s getting deeper To fucked to swim, The light is dim, No more air, This isn't fair. Hell or Heaven, That is the question, The thoughts flash by, Now I die.

Up the ladder: Love in the Tropics
Down the ladder: exist

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 7.4
Weighted score: 5.286087
Overall Rank: 3729
Posted: October 4, 2003 10:32 AM PDT; Last modified: October 4, 2003 10:32 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] New Life Drug @ 67.112.121.181 | 4-Oct-03/2:29 PM | Reply
really simple and to the point and not confusing and I like it cuz it reminds me of a drunken night.
[7] richa @ 81.178.236.219 | 5-Oct-03/1:10 PM | Reply
'Now I die' seems hyperbolic and a lot of the rhymes seem forced 'knee/me, swim dim'

Still fast flowing and not too painful
174 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001