Painted Air

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Oct 2003 · Edited 4 Oct 2003 · 4 comments

The sun fades faster in this moment as time ticks, the light slips Hidden under horizons and clouds The sky was pink, before I blinked my eyes it seems So big and open and color soaked the earth making magenta bricks, and purple waves Sometimes I wish every sky could be like this on this perfect day Hot, warm, humid, and not quite blue what a perfect end tonight summer never stays long enough And crickets never sing through all four seasons but who cares when you've got panoramic views like these, I can feel my heart beat As I breathe in the still painted air

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mean 6.33 weighted 5.36 rank 3306 views 245 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

4 comments

[n/a] Don-Quixote 4-Oct-03/5:56 PM Reply

... i risked falling asleep when reading this.

__
Sometimes I wish
every sky could be like this
on this perfect day
Hot, warm, humid,
___

hot.. warm.. ? which is it!?

elmo discusses differemt types of heat kids!

no offense..

[7] horus8 4-Oct-03/9:33 PM Reply

Improves dramatically towards the end, but starts beached whale. 7.

[7] richa 5-Oct-03/12:53 PM Reply

well carried, nice rhythm, a little prosaic.

And crickets never sing
through all four seasons

was my favourite phrase

[8] Craychus 7-Oct-03/6:50 PM Reply

very visual