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Painted Air (Free verse) by New Life Drug
The sun fades faster in this moment as time ticks, the light slips Hidden under horizons and clouds The sky was pink, before I blinked my eyes it seems So big and open and color soaked the earth making magenta bricks, and purple waves Sometimes I wish every sky could be like this on this perfect day Hot, warm, humid, and not quite blue what a perfect end tonight summer never stays long enough And crickets never sing through all four seasons but who cares when you've got panoramic views like these, I can feel my heart beat As I breathe in the still painted air

Up the ladder: bumblebee robot

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Weighted score: 5.3585887
Overall Rank: 3308
Posted: October 4, 2003 2:22 PM PDT; Last modified: October 4, 2003 2:26 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] Don-Quixote @ 204.31.166.12 | 4-Oct-03/5:56 PM | Reply
... i risked falling asleep when reading this.


__
Sometimes I wish
every sky could be like this
on this perfect day
Hot, warm, humid,
___

hot.. warm.. ? which is it!?

elmo discusses differemt types of heat kids!

no offense..
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 4-Oct-03/9:33 PM | Reply
Improves dramatically towards the end, but starts beached whale. 7.
[7] richa @ 81.178.236.219 | 5-Oct-03/12:53 PM | Reply
well carried, nice rhythm, a little prosaic.

And crickets never sing
through all four seasons

was my favourite phrase
[8] Craychus @ 164.78.252.56 | 7-Oct-03/6:50 PM | Reply
very visual
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