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Blissful the Fungae Forest (Free verse) by peaceseeker curls and lemon
lime raincoat
caught leaves
on the fly
before they
landed flight
so absorbed
in the catch
a reunion like
a leaf landing
daughter in
stripes and flowers
ran with arms
straight up
through the
mountain valley
blissful the
fungae forest
meaty mushrooms
so tempting
led to granite
stepping stairs
climbed to
several summits
feasted like
we earned it
photographed
the ethereal day
in the clouds
in the mist
Up the ladder:
Hardcore Denial or Sumpin'.
Down the ladder:
Out of a White Hole
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.888889
Posted: October 4, 2003 12:10 PM PDT; Last modified: October 4, 2003 12:12 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.9444447 Overall Rank: 1381 Comments:
Pleasant, and a spiritual lift through nature. Especially now in a time of unatural crap abroad at every juxt.
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
It is quite a contrast to the "crap abroad," isn't it?
i love lime... good job!! I avoided this poem the title reminded me of some fairyland forest thing but I read it and now I feel much better.
Thanks.
What's wrong with fairyland forest things though?
the rhythm breaks down a bit at 'through the mountain valley blissful the fungae forest meaty mushrooms'
overall it flows pretty well though like the leafs fall at the beginning, could do with compacting though
One of your best. I loved the title and the description of the leaf catching- my daughter says it is good luck to catch one in the air. You ought to submit to CBW.
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and wasnt no burnin bush- ill tell ya that!
im not even a christian- never have been (never will)
and i know bout the burnin bush.. where have you been?
this was before he went back to egypt and freed the enslaved hebrews, went back up the holy mountain to recieve the ten commandments- his followers breaking each commandment as he recieved them- and came down to see the atrocities being done.
And then moses got all bummed and pissy and smashed the ten commandments, returning to his tent to sadly ponder the 40 years of wandering that he was then looking forward to.
have i cleared up the confusion?