Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee	6-Jun-07/4:50 AM
This is super, although I'm not sure whether you want it to be bitterly ironic or genuinely humorous...
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jun-07/4:50 AM
To which sort of stash do you refer?
Re: Sit tight, sweetheart by JMakStak	6-Jun-07/4:52 AM
Decent enough, although it won't win any prizes for novelty value. The curtains came in a bit suddenly.
Re: No-Strings by sca	6-Jun-07/4:58 AM
This is your best yet from what I've seen. You've got a good sense of meter, although the first line is bulky. I'd split that line slightly: Damn it, why do... etc. "Just-the-one is not your type" is the best line. -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jun-07/4:07 AM
I think it would be far funnier if the last line was "bones snap on demand".
Re: Persnickety by malpaso	8-Jun-07/4:09 AM
Catchy, perhaps a little thin on the narrative depth, but still good fun to read aloud.
Re: Melancholy Tart by Skamper	8-Jun-07/4:14 AM
I like it, all except the exclamation mark at the very end. Turns it from being quite a maudlin piece into what seems like it's meant to be a joke. Metrically I'd change 'remain' to 'stay', and maybe tweak the third stanza. Perhaps: "I feel a little melancholy" (whispered to no-one in particular) ..." etc.
Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	8-Jun-07/4:20 AM
In future I advise you to be prepared for such eventualities: always carry a portable truncheon so as to beat such presumptuous yobs across the pate for troubling you. It is important to lay down the law as soon as possible, or they will start taking all sorts of liberties like walking in public places or heckling you for a chip at 3am.
Re: Resume by drnick	21-Jun-07/4:55 AM
The funny thing with the first two stanzas is that they're a sort of guarded joy, almost like you don't expect anything to last, and it bothers you, whereas the next three stanzas sound like you don't care about that fact. It's much the same with starting 'game over' and ending 'now resume' - I like that facet. But, of course, good luck with it :-)
Re: Tropical afternoon by cpill	21-Jun-07/5:00 AM
Not keen on 'shoulders sag' - it sounds like you give up on everything, whereas the rest of the poem is less like that. I'd change it to 'let the shoulders down', like you're letting blinds down on the windows, letting your guard down and a million other relaxed cliches. 'Menstruating sky' is hilarious.
Re: I Am A Reality by Skamper	21-Jun-07/5:03 AM
I'd agree with Imp, this is lyrical. But less rap, less Bjork and more Emiliana Torrini.
Re: The wait by aliena	21-Jun-07/5:07 AM
The voices in my head are crying 'image! image!' Perhaps play around with the sound of 'poetry' and make it sound like 'pottery' - something being wiped off clay. I'd like that.
Re: The One I Threw Back by drnick	21-Jun-07/5:09 AM
Aside from 'I found God inside her face' I rather like this.
Re: F Log-On by Skamper	21-Jun-07/5:12 AM
What exactly are you F-Logging? Make line 3 straight iambs ('fire into the midst') and perhaps the 'rolled sweated and panted' line wants rhythmic tweaking. Dovina's right about the rap-ness of this. Good poeme.
Re: Field Work by Christof	21-Jun-07/5:13 AM
Marvellous to see you still alive and writing, Mr. C. This is clearly a poeme about doing something naughty.
Re: husk [hai-crete] by lmp	21-Jun-07/5:15 AM
Love the breaking of broken and the flying of the flies. And presumably you're aiming for the breakages, the incompleteness making something whole and concrete?
Re: Better Things by EAger to Offend	21-Jun-07/5:18 AM
I personally love a good long slee[.
Re: Foie Gras by Christof	21-Jun-07/5:23 AM
The best game you can play with telesales is to pretend that you're interested in it as a career and ask them all about their job. See how long you can string them along for before they hang up. Love the torture of geese. Glorious.
Re: Fourty Caliber Thirty Pack by drnick	22-Jun-07/2:17 AM
A lot of good lines - 'love is most commonly found written on a paper', 'piss out the rust' and others. Not sure about 'corporate feeding tubes', it might work better if it were a little more detached from the social ills. Or that might just be my reading. Good poeme. Btw, I never got that email, I think the microsoft network might not be all it's cracked up to be :-(
Re: essence of a thought by lmp	22-Jun-07/1:14 PM
Good write. I like the rhymes although when you alter the pattern it is maybe a little distracting.