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No-Strings (Other) by sca
Damn-it; Why do I have to want you For every wrong reason in the book, Even if I’m sure it’s only lust In the flirts, the bumps, the looks. You’re always at the concerts Singing words I wish I knew, Moshing in the front row, Pure-bred hardcore through and through. Uncaring and yet passionate You’d die for more than hair, Barricade the streets, Rebel to make the world aware. You bang girls left and centre, Week and end alike, And from pointed observation Just-the-one is not your type. So I’ll resign, we’ll just have fun, And I can dream of older days, 'Coz while we’re young, I’m guessing, No-strings is how it stays.

Down the ladder: Your Mom, My Dad

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Weighted score: 5.190725
Overall Rank: 4724
Posted: June 6, 2007 1:44 AM PDT; Last modified: June 6, 2007 5:06 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 | 6-Jun-07/4:58 AM | Reply
This is your best yet from what I've seen. You've got a good sense of meter, although the first line is bulky. I'd split that line slightly:

Damn it,
why do...

etc.

"Just-the-one is not your type" is the best line. -9-
[n/a] sca @ 124.191.64.243 > Ranger | 6-Jun-07/5:04 AM | Reply
I have to admit I like it too. I've been posting my poems in the order I've written them, and lately that's been for contests with weird and obscure guidelines (form, wordbanks, what-have you)... so I took it back a bit.

and I think I will put the damn it on it's own.

=> Jess
[9] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > sca | 6-Jun-07/5:05 AM | Reply
Is this on allpoetry? That place annihilated my desire to write :-(
[n/a] sca @ 124.191.64.243 > Ranger | 6-Jun-07/5:08 AM | Reply
Yeah, I've been on there since about 2003. Youngest of the oldtimers... but I'm crawling out of my shell. haha... just isn't like back in the day.
[9] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > sca | 6-Jun-07/5:15 AM | Reply
I joined for a couple of months last year but surrendered all hope when I got people vehemently adamant that I should not have called something a sonnet because it did not have the "right number of syllables". At that point I gave up and decided to live the rest of my life as a hermit in a cave somewhere in Tibet.
[n/a] sca @ 124.191.64.243 > Ranger | 6-Jun-07/5:21 AM | Reply
Yeah, there are some twats on the site. And their prudish tendencies aren't limited to poetry. You probably didn't make it to the forums but they're all either homphobic or incessantly, emospastically self obsessed and/or depressive.
[n/a] sca @ 124.191.64.243 > sca | 6-Jun-07/5:21 AM | Reply
PS - I'm the sometimes resonable but often blunt one.
[9] Ranger @ 81.103.124.179 > sca | 6-Jun-07/5:30 AM | Reply
lol, don't you just love emo poetry though?

(almost as much as terrible irony)
[8] Skamper @ 202.6.130.223 | 7-Jun-07/4:02 PM | Reply
Some great lines - not sure about the third stanza, doesn't really speak of the rebel, just some things that sound kinda rebellious.
[7] richa @ 85.210.32.212 | 16-Jun-07/2:02 PM | Reply
No need for the damn it bit. The third verse is the weakest by far so I'd shelve it. Other than that sweet in a kind of naive pimply way.
[n/a] sca @ 124.191.65.7 > richa | 17-Jun-07/1:39 AM | Reply
damnit was originally in the first line, moved it on recomendation. and yeah, I don't like the third all that much either, but it was written about a real person, and at the time it made sense... to me, haha.
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