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Empty Chronicles (Free verse) by Scarlett Feasting on the mulberry binder
Lost in dreams and legends
Deep within the shade of
Pyramus and Thisbe
Wisest not to bud
Quickly into lines of
Black and white, but
For the force of
Minervaâs night,
Inspiration melts
The crayon peace
Of mind
Trapped inside
Blank pages, cold
Press paper in a simple tag,
I write
âBloom me mulberryâ
Up the ladder:
hands
Down the ladder:
Just Like Before
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Posted: February 20, 2006 5:59 PM PST; Last modified: February 20, 2006 5:59 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.190725 Overall Rank: 4724 Comments:
Sadly, this is the best of my work and for there on out - it's all down hill. Lol.. In the meantime, while my muse sleeps beneath a morning glory bloom, I'll browse around.
I think you deleted my comment, if by accident then I don't know if anyone's told you that the red 'x' is the delete button, to reply click 'reply' (this sentence doesn't even remotely make grammatical sense...). If you know that already, disregard this poem. I've just seen a lot of people do it by mistake.
Post some of your other stuff anyway. People here will always give advice - and take it from me that the experience you get from this site will improve your poetry immeasurably. I had to take a 2 and a half year break from writing to get things right and recover from writer's block, all of a sudden things are starting to fall into place. And if you've written something as good as this, you will write something just as good - if not better - in the future. Welcome to poemranker!
Whoops... I sure did hit the red "x". Thank you for explaining what happened. Lol. I didn't realize I could delete someone else's response. See there, learn something new every day.
I hate to disappoint, Ranger and the rest of my stuff is sad in comparison. But mayhap I'll take a chance. Enjoying the site thus far!
Yeah, on your poems you can delete any comment you like, elsewhere you can delete your own.
Take the chance, you seem like the sort of person who can read criticism without taking offence (unlike a 16 year-old Ranger when he first joined poemranker...) - I promise you will get a lot out of this site!
Thanks for your encouragement, Ranger.
The second stanza's good, minus Minerva.
Not really my sort of poetry so I can't realy comment on whether it is any good or not, but it seems that a few more commas could be useful, and as a graecophile I would rather Athina than Minerva, but this is just my personal belief that the Greeks were more artistic that the Romans.
What is a mulberry binder? I thought binders just held paper.
Binders have covers and Mulberry is also a color.
interesting and nicely written.
i get the impression that the meaning is that you are expecting (spiritual? intellectual?) growth from having read the writings within the mulberry binder? talk about food for thought! all in all, very nice. please do write more...
oh, i also like "crayon peace of mind". colorful, if you will...
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Absolutely lovely.