poemranker ::Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee

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Free verse № 152255

Call Someone Right Away

Member since 2002 · Posted 5 Jun 2007 · 4 comments

Thank you again for notifying the authorities five days after my El Dorado flipped very upside down in the shallow rivermouth on your daddy's land! Really thanks, you know, finally for alerting someone, after five days, my brother-in-law who was driving, was dead I think, but he never talked to me anyway but I'm pretty sure he was dead for all five days you saw us, so thanks for telling someone that day because I don't eat meat and I came really close

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mean 6.40 weighted 5.17 rank 5054 views 161 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

4 comments

[9] Ranger 6-Jun-07/4:50 AM Reply
This is super, although I'm not sure whether you want it to be bitterly ironic or genuinely humorous...
[7] Dovina 6-Jun-07/12:09 PM Reply
It's a sad kind of funny. Just enough to make me think so anyway. More detail would help. And it's a bit too prosaic for poetry.
[7] Skamper 7-Jun-07/3:44 PM Reply
Pretty funny - darkly so, but a fair and just thankyou to your rescuer.
[9] richa 16-Jun-07/1:58 PM Reply
I like the voice. I like the way you throw the last line too.