| Re: Bliss without the Mistress by rlorrah |
13-Dec-02/2:16 AM |
Like it,
have you ever had bliss WITH the mistress, now theirs a poem?
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| Re: all sex by roses are read |
11-Dec-02/10:15 AM |
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My brothers paranoid, but i told him its not about him.
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| Re: Me and Mrs. Jones by bondjedi |
11-Dec-02/10:06 AM |
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shit its back on boys pass the plastic lightsabre.
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| Re: just plain orange by New Life Drug |
11-Dec-02/10:03 AM |
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| Re: When Im Gone by New Life Drug |
11-Dec-02/10:01 AM |
the last line almost ruined it for me, i hate flow interuption !
Okay then had my moan ! this could be REALLY good, you put a good slant on the philosophy of death and this simmers with empathy, its a real thought provoker so you've touched on a good subject, however carry on working on it, get rid of the numbering as it sucks, I wanna read this again when you finished it. And geez you gotta finish this, resubmit the baby for more feedback, zzinnia, gods wife, poeat and knowit, horus8, tintag intransit, and many more may occasionally criticise but they are crystal muses of help.
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| Re: Europeans shouldn't mess with Ronald McDonald because one day he will rule their pathetic "continent" by bondjedi |
11-Dec-02/9:44 AM |
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deep fried chickenhead mcnuggets and slow worms in fish, Macdonalds and snails are the least disgusting, lets have some more happymeal haikus
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| Re: The rendition 2 (at the wedding) by ~incarnate~ |
11-Dec-02/9:38 AM |
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lord of the ringpiece, frodo is the fudgepacker of dwarves - watch out smurfs
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| Re: For the boyfriend I don't have by ~incarnate~ |
11-Dec-02/9:37 AM |
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Beautiful, something nice to go home on, i wrote one like this once called 'When I meet my love' there is something very romantic and mystical in pre conception of a paragon like a soul mate, good luck in your search hope you got the patience you'll need it. *8*
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| Re: Panning for gold by INTRANSIT |
10-Dec-02/7:03 AM |
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the influence of certain other writers on this site added to your own unique gift of clarity and individual style has improved your work so much. I know you've been working hard and i fink its paid off
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| Re: missing time by Bill Z Bub |
10-Dec-02/6:37 AM |
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Hey devildude this is your strongest so far in this book, so in your words 'i shall rate thee highly'
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| Re: stifled by crin |
10-Dec-02/6:28 AM |
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This is quite disturbing, and I really dont know how to feel about it, a true mindfucker of a poem, i cant say its bad or good but i wanna know what gods wife whats to know, do you dig bundy?
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| Re: Dad by dniknam |
9-Dec-02/7:01 AM |
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I too have wrote about my father, this seems to be more about you and the aftermath and i'd like to see more connection between you and your da. However i am not criticising your work, all personal poems come from the labyrinth of despair from the unchartered map of the human heart, The last stanzas the strongest here you could do with one less 'quit yelling' stanza, take care sir i wish you well *7*
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| Re: REALITY by NewbieMe |
9-Dec-02/6:55 AM |
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You really needed to tell a story of reality here, it could be called anything because its too vague and formulaic, you can write because i've read your stuff so i really hope you complete this (vote held for mo)
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| Re: idiots by w~* ATHENA *~w |
7-Dec-02/5:20 AM |
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sorry Pk / ZZinnia my mistake
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| Re: a comment on idiots by w~* ATHENA *~w |
6-Dec-02/9:56 AM |
I do write myself, all my stuff is on 'word' or on poetry.com, and because i dont have a computer at home i do it at work risking the sack, if you wish to challenge my authenticity PK fine I'm more than up to it. Also a lot of my writing is personal and unless I have a doppelganger on the loose then yes I write my own work.
Bit spiky today are we ?
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| Re: Entrapment by MakenzieNy |
6-Dec-02/8:46 AM |
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check line 3 for spelling (conquer)
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| Re: Entrapment by MakenzieNy |
6-Dec-02/8:46 AM |
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A little futile and one dimensional, nice, but basically very formulaic.*5*
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| Re: Bloodsucker by hobojo |
6-Dec-02/8:41 AM |
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Hobojo, quite the George Romero with this one
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| Re: Killing me. by Plasticgirlwithgun |
6-Dec-02/6:45 AM |
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Go Gladiator girl save up $100 and get the knobhead, you saved this by the ballistic ending
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| Re: Deep Inner Pain by razorgrin |
6-Dec-02/6:39 AM |
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Cut the cookies with your wit razorgrin, this satisfied my bloodthirst and cookiehunger -9-
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