on all sex by roses are read
11 Dec 2002, 10:15 AM
My brothers paranoid, but i told him its not about him.
on Me and Mrs. Jones by bondjedi
11 Dec 2002, 10:06 AM
shit its back on boys pass the plastic lightsabre.
on just plain orange by New Life Drug
11 Dec 2002, 10:03 AM
J-a-c-k-p-o-t ! *8
on When Im Gone by New Life Drug
11 Dec 2002, 10:01 AM
the last line almost ruined it for me, i hate flow interuption !
Okay then had my moan ! this could be REALLY good, you put a good slant on the philosophy of death and this simmers with empathy, its a real thought provoker so you've touched on a good subject, however carry on working on it, get rid of the numbering as it sucks, I wanna read this again when you finished it. And geez you gotta finish this, resubmit the baby for more feedback, zzinnia, gods wife, poeat and knowit, horus8, tintag intransit, and many more may occasionally criticise but they are crystal muses of help.
Okay then had my moan ! this could be REALLY good, you put a good slant on the philosophy of death and this simmers with empathy, its a real thought provoker so you've touched on a good subject, however carry on working on it, get rid of the numbering as it sucks, I wanna read this again when you finished it. And geez you gotta finish this, resubmit the baby for more feedback, zzinnia, gods wife, poeat and knowit, horus8, tintag intransit, and many more may occasionally criticise but they are crystal muses of help.
on Europeans shouldn't mess with Ronald McDonald because one day he will rule their pathetic "continent" by bondjedi
11 Dec 2002, 9:44 AM
deep fried chickenhead mcnuggets and slow worms in fish, Macdonalds and snails are the least disgusting, lets have some more happymeal haikus
on The rendition 2 (at the wedding) by ~incarnate~
11 Dec 2002, 9:38 AM
lord of the ringpiece, frodo is the fudgepacker of dwarves - watch out smurfs
on For the boyfriend I don't have by ~incarnate~
11 Dec 2002, 9:37 AM
Beautiful, something nice to go home on, i wrote one like this once called 'When I meet my love' there is something very romantic and mystical in pre conception of a paragon like a soul mate, good luck in your search hope you got the patience you'll need it. *8*
on Panning for gold by INTRANSIT
10 Dec 2002, 7:03 AM
the influence of certain other writers on this site added to your own unique gift of clarity and individual style has improved your work so much. I know you've been working hard and i fink its paid off
on missing time by Bill Z Bub
10 Dec 2002, 6:37 AM
Hey devildude this is your strongest so far in this book, so in your words 'i shall rate thee highly'
I too have wrote about my father, this seems to be more about you and the aftermath and i'd like to see more connection between you and your da. However i am not criticising your work, all personal poems come from the labyrinth of despair from the unchartered map of the human heart, The last stanzas the strongest here you could do with one less 'quit yelling' stanza, take care sir i wish you well *7*
on idiots by w~* ATHENA *~w
7 Dec 2002, 5:20 AM
sorry Pk / ZZinnia my mistake
replying on idiots by w~* ATHENA *~w
6 Dec 2002, 9:56 AM
I do write myself, all my stuff is on 'word' or on poetry.com, and because i dont have a computer at home i do it at work risking the sack, if you wish to challenge my authenticity PK fine I'm more than up to it. Also a lot of my writing is personal and unless I have a doppelganger on the loose then yes I write my own work.
Bit spiky today are we ?
Bit spiky today are we ?
on Entrapment by MakenzieNy
6 Dec 2002, 8:46 AM
check line 3 for spelling (conquer)
on Entrapment by MakenzieNy
6 Dec 2002, 8:46 AM
A little futile and one dimensional, nice, but basically very formulaic.*5*
on Bloodsucker by hobojo
6 Dec 2002, 8:41 AM
Hobojo, quite the George Romero with this one
on Killing me. by Plasticgirlwithgun
6 Dec 2002, 6:45 AM
Go Gladiator girl save up $100 and get the knobhead, you saved this by the ballistic ending
on Deep Inner Pain by razorgrin
6 Dec 2002, 6:39 AM
Cut the cookies with your wit razorgrin, this satisfied my bloodthirst and cookiehunger -9-
have you ever had bliss WITH the mistress, now theirs a poem?