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REALITY (Free verse) by NewbieMe If it were another time, I'd spend each moment with you
If I were in another place, I'd be there beside you
If it could work out, I'd be completely devoted to you
If things were to be fair, I'd be unselfish to you
If this was destined to be, then I'd never leave you
If it was... but it was not
Up the ladder:
Poem For Times Such As These
Down the ladder:
For the boyfriend I don't have
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Posted: December 7, 2002 8:51 AM PST; Last modified: December 7, 2002 8:51 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.820706 Overall Rank: 10905 Comments:
[5]
Garrett S Sexton @ 213.122.78.41
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7-Dec-02/12:42 PM
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Reply
R U a microwave?
[n/a]
NewbieMe @ 202.70.102.17
> Garrett S Sexton
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7-Dec-02/4:43 PM
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Reply
No. Are you?
You really needed to tell a story of reality here, it could be called anything because its too vague and formulaic, you can write because i've read your stuff so i really hope you complete this (vote held for mo)
Needs more content but this would be a LIFE GETS BETTER AWARDE if I hadn't all ready given you one today. Trust me girlfriends come and go but the poems you write about them will haunt us forever. -8-
"Needs more content" HAHAHAHA. "haunt us forever" HAHAHAHA. This is quite possibly the stupidest comment you have ever felched onto poemeranker, thepinkbunnyofdoom. Keep up the good work!
judging by that laugh, i'd say u and bunny like each other very much.one question tho, do u try hard to find every comment he makes?
No he just goes to my most recent comments in my profile and then goes to put a comment anywhere that I have more than a one word reply.
I've never seen your most recent comments page in your profile, and if I did, I doubt I would follow you around commenting on your comments. I didn't even do that for Poetie, and she was twelve times the indignant moron you are.
P.S. He doesn't like me and I don't care one way or the other for D.A.
Well, well, well if it isn't D.A., I had thought you dropped off the face of the earth and hit a rock.
How you doing squirt? As for the dumbest comment ever... I'm sure I've posted dumber. You work too hard at stalking my comments to try and insult me. Your too interested in what a moron like me has to say D.A. Get a life :)
Sure thepinkbunnyofdoom, you can tell me to "Get a life" if you want. And you'd probably be right. Everyone else I know seems to think so. I'm actually a diabetic, by the way. People don't really accept me for who I am, so it's in forums like this that I prefer to spend most of my time. I guess that means I don't have a life. But with a disease like diabetes, you never really have much of a life anyway. When I was at school, the fucking kids used to make fun of me because I couldn't drink proper Coke so I had to have Diet Coke. School was pretty tough for me and I couldn't wait to get out. So I hope you can see that you're not the only one here with personal problems. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.
Wow!! A human angle. How odd. There is nothing wrong with Diet Coke D.A. and I'm sorry kids made funny of you. Yeah... Well buck up lad lifes not all bad and all that bloody nonsense, sorry if you took my get a life comment overly harshly and watch your insulin levels. I actually like seeing your name posted around here telling us what morons we are so... Thanks for being the bugger that you are D.A.
This is an absolutely disastrous attempt at poetry. First of all, the title - REALITY - great way to drive home the REALISM of your piece with both alarming and shocking clarity! Oh wait, actually it's crap. "If I were in another place, I'd be there beside you" - would you? What if that other place wasn't BEside them, but INside them? Didn't think of that one, did you!? "If it could work out" - yeah the crucial word in this phrase is "If", because actually, disableds can't "work out". They're too lazy. Not to mention stupid. I think it's time you faced up to THAT little REALITY.
"If it was... but it was not" - ahhhhh but what if it actually WAS? Then your entire poeme would be a complete lie. But overall, completely ace! 10/10!!!
hmm if u think this piece is crap why give it a 10?
u seem to leave similar comments to other poems, not that i follow you around. on the same note, i don't think people enjoy getting comments from you. *shrug* either way, thanks for the 10 and for the rather interesting comment. :)
*shrug* I don't know about you, but that disabled bastard over there has scoffed the lot. What a complete snoole hammer. *shrug*
What makes this a superior poem is the fact that it burns with the anti poem identity of the new young poetically devoid movement out of a small sandusky ohio church's lawn mower shack. Now, as my friend james would say "out the window with it".
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