| Re: February Loneliness by BenRice |
18-Dec-02/2:13 AM |
|
We've had A Hitchcock invasion of crows in the last few days, liked the last 7-8 lines -7-
|
|
|
 |
| Re: The City (New Jerusaem) by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/9:38 AM |
|
Xmas always breeds feelings of isolation, and decadent loneliness, i found this uplifting on a 2nd read and the last stanza is more spiritual than secular, however thoughts are always divided by thought provokers like this, my votes a 9
|
|
|
|
| Re: Despair by dave78981 |
16-Dec-02/9:08 AM |
|
WTC, you say more in 3 lines than i read in 20, good to see a piece of work drowned in dark truth, 1st line sets the scene 3rd/4th rips it to pieces, haikus are not easy too
|
|
|
|
| Re: LIFE by jonny2000 |
16-Dec-02/6:50 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Are You? by NewbieMe |
16-Dec-02/6:07 AM |
Not entirely memorable or original, try and explain the concept of suicide in a less trivial manner. You have to be, or had to be genuinely suicidal to write about suicide and hit people in a way they will think on what you have said. Dont be disheartened through malice in peoples criticism, answer them through your work and silent tongues will deafen you from what you created. Just gather inspiration, never force an emotion let it force you to write.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Her Name was Lisa by Owner of the Sky |
16-Dec-02/5:31 AM |
|
This is poignant, It reminded me of me, once upon a time ago, this kind of experience is hard to write about with the style, substance and unpretentious way in which you sold it -my fave read today a golden egg has hatched you a 10
|
|
|
|
| Re: The City (Sodom) by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/5:26 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Mother by blkarak |
16-Dec-02/5:25 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: fa11ing by Bill Z Bub |
16-Dec-02/5:06 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Only you by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/5:03 AM |
|
Now, this is more simplistic and engaging than the others, it flows nicely and is undemanding in a good way, take a 7 sugar
|
|
|
|
| Re: Damien by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/5:01 AM |
Not adult enough for me in its depiction of infatuation, you need to show more dimension to your work as this stands it makes the character look pitiful, and desperate.
You write the way you want too though I'm a miserable shit. (not voted)
|
|
|
|
| Re: Myself by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
16-Dec-02/4:57 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Am I Still Here? by Ranger |
16-Dec-02/4:56 AM |
This is a seminal work from you, And i my friend have something secret I have learned from this -congrats. ( I think the last 3 lines deserve more impact) I will think of it, scrambled thoughts at the moment =9=
PS i might write something happy
|
|
|
|
| Re: Bilboards, and music, just shouldn't be mixed. by Bachus |
13-Dec-02/6:26 AM |
|
Simon Cowell would die in his trousers over this
|
|
|
|
| Re: Transformers "a higher, vaster, deeper meaning". by Bachus |
13-Dec-02/6:24 AM |
|
Transformer Smurf ? just a disturbing idea
|
|
|
|
| Re: On a chill morning by razorgrin |
13-Dec-02/3:47 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Prize gained life, Death in wages by GTK |
13-Dec-02/2:52 AM |
|
Affecting ! check line one though shouldn't bath be bathe?
|
|
|
|
| Re: alienheart by Bill Z Bub |
13-Dec-02/2:25 AM |
|
Bought back bad memories of the 'probe violation' i suffered at the hands of Darth Invader, hes a dirty bastard.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Mum why are grandmas arms so baggy? by ==Doylum |
13-Dec-02/2:22 AM |
|
ahhhh the most wicked of all haikus, this made me crack up to the point of snotting all over my face so thank you for making me feel so fucking attractive. -10- go granny
|
|
|
|
| Re: Some asshole with a shit band. by Plasticgirlwithgun |
13-Dec-02/2:20 AM |
|
Deliciously evil and bitchy, shoot me in slow mo plasticgirl
|
|
|
|
