Re: Caged World by deep-as-a-puddle	19-Dec-02/8:59 AM
'Maimed' for the perfectionist in you. this strong piece should not be weakened by spelling errors now bend over boy ! WHATTTEEEEEEESH ! the 1st 4 lines stanza 2 are awesome. 7-
Re: fa11ing by Bill Z Bub	19-Dec-02/8:50 AM
You have many a string to your bow, and this split the arrow, bring The hooded man the maid (applause from the sherriff and nottinghams peasants)
Re: Leap by robs_remains	19-Dec-02/6:47 AM
Haunting/quite touching, An inconclusive ghost story 'tim burtonesque' in style
Re: March by <~>	19-Dec-02/6:44 AM
If only it were spring, you tease us with warmer climes. Is melt and mud the season change, my ever fragrant zzinnia?
Re: UltraSound by UnityMitford	19-Dec-02/5:02 AM
Either did I till puberty. good poeme
Re: Fact of the Matter by marvelis	19-Dec-02/4:38 AM
Bravo Sir, this is vivid, started strong and ended strong, making a good use of a philosophy without pretentiosness -7-
Re: Sword of All by marvelis	19-Dec-02/4:35 AM
this is well written, and i to favour power poetry and rhyme (saw your details) i think the sword needs to go back in the scabbard as it needs a little sharpening, what is your point? it seems a little all over the place. -05-
Re: Time by marvelis	19-Dec-02/4:31 AM
USER INTRANSIT, wrote a line about ripping the guts from a grandfather clock, i cant recall the title but you would like that poem of his (ask him). This was quite intelligently written, and i think a 3 votes a bit negative, maybe do this as a haiku ? think of some choice lines **6**
Re: before I forget by moonUnit	19-Dec-02/4:28 AM
Original, I love poems that have lines like yours' the hat you made me wear for school -the one that was itchy' its so true to life and representative of childhood memories, this makes me want to eat my mums crap xmas cake just coz i love her ===8=
Re: no cure by New Life Drug	19-Dec-02/4:25 AM
victims and masters of our own disasters
Re: no cure by New Life Drug	19-Dec-02/4:24 AM
Quite Moving and a very credible stanza 2-4 ========8 tears---
Re: no cure by New Life Drug	19-Dec-02/4:24 AM
Quite Moving and a very credible stanza 2-4 ========8 tears---
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	19-Dec-02/3:04 AM
Like this better, but being part of the whole seems to incomplete the poem maybe say of the whole ..... something (game seems to basic) fuck it anyway its very good I/T
Re: joyriding by Bill Z Bub	19-Dec-02/2:34 AM
C'est Parfait
Re: Frozen Angel by Ranger	18-Dec-02/10:04 AM
By the way I took your advice and wrote something happy its called 'Sawn off shotgun'
Re: Frozen Angel by Ranger	18-Dec-02/10:01 AM
This is your best rangerman and yogi likes it. On stanza 3 you could change the last line slightly to 'Which way around would they be faced? (it rhymes and flows better) Stanza 4 is a credit to you, I would've been pleased writing it. Anyway as for not fully comprehending your work - worry not - as someone wise recently said on this site their is a certain magic, allurement to writing from the heart as it shows the characted of the poet as well as its subjects or subject. The last stanza is almost a poem on its own and the last stanza flows like wine at the last supper. I have some suggestions for S2, they were merely reactionary thoughts after i had read yours. She stands alone like one of stone Buried deep in HALLOWED ground, ASLEEP, FROM PRYING SOULS THAT GAZE THROUGH MORTAL WINDOWS, UNDER THE WINGS OF THE CRYSTAL ANGEL, SHE IS THE SOUND OF ITS WINGS, FREE, FROM THE CONFINES OF DAY, OF NIGHT, DESTINED TO BE SUNSHINE AND THE GLIMMER OF MOONLIGHT. The lilting rain brings no more pain To ears bereft of sound Her wings caress AN abandoned nest Caring for them 'till they're found, And when, unchained, LOVE CORONATES HER, AND SHE IS ORDAINED, SHE IS FOUND AND THE STANGLING VINES OF TIME have unwound. (my version is in bold) its hard to do this in this box. anyway have an 8, its very good.
Re: Holding On by Katie2	18-Dec-02/9:10 AM
Littered with bad grammar and spelling mistakes which sadly loses the reader from enjoying your work, flow interuption pisses people off on here, welcome to poemranker katie 2, help us to help ourselves this is the literary last supper for poets. (re-edit and re-submit this and good luck on here.
Re: wax by New Life Drug	18-Dec-02/4:54 AM
Hoped it would be about bikin line, however babybel cheeses have never been written about as far as i know.
Re: of people and places (final cut)I by INTRANSIT	18-Dec-02/3:17 AM
Doubt you'll even see this comment, hope so as I've grafted on this work of yours. I think a poem of chess is a good subject and this could benefit as GW suggested from maybe a metaphor like 'Royal blood drips from its master, drier than the falling sand, Pawns in numbers advance, Kings remain seated, armies depleted, Death begins the devils dance, Black and white combat, so true to life, inconclusive, slain to the rhythm of superior thought. Well that took 5 mins and its a bit messed up but hope i may have helped.
Re: lackluster fear by blackball	18-Dec-02/2:21 AM
I drowned in this deep river, you came from a clever angle on love here, sophisticated, and no holds barred.*8*