poemranker ::wax by New Life Drug

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Free verse № 22473

wax

Member since 2002 · Posted 25 Oct 2002 · Edited 17 Dec 2002 · 10 comments

wax is so cool when it is in your hands why is the red moldable cover so neat? It seals the cheese, and is left for formation A dinosaur, a pacman. Made. You show the creation to your master and I laugh at you, slave of slave Then Gina crushes your masterpiece She longs to rebuild something better Working to make a flying dinosaur and all this time I stand with cool bright eyes Staring at the wax and at people's eyebrows Wax is so cool not like my eyes, but like a joke

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mean 4.29 weighted 4.81 rank 11018 views 235 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

10 comments

[6] horus8 26-Oct-02/8:30 AM Reply
lose the last line, cuz nobody really gives a fuck. unfortunately...plus it draws more interest thatta way otay. otay. 6.
[10] Bachus › horus8 17-Dec-02/7:43 PM Reply
i like the last line now i don't know why i didn't recognize the scope of it earlier, sorry.o
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. › Bachus 18-Dec-02/11:09 AM Reply
Maybe because you and horus8 are entirely different personae?!?!?!???!??1//11//
[5] -=SeTTle=- 27-Oct-02/7:37 PM Reply
WHAT
[n/a] New Life Drug › -=SeTTle=- 27-Oct-02/7:40 PM Reply
I'm keeping you guessing.... hehe
[3] Tascobar 28-Oct-02/4:20 AM Reply
Strange - this doesn't make any kind of sense whatsoever. Would indeed be better for the loss of the last line. 3.
[7] Christof 28-Oct-02/7:45 AM Reply
This is indeed strange. You central idea is good and some of your images work fine, and some bits seem unformed. This wax needs a bit more shaping I think. But your concept is good.
[n/a] New Life Drug › Christof 28-Oct-02/6:58 PM Reply
Oi. You had to have been there... it was funny. My friends and I were just playing with wax.. but I used it as a metaphor for the way I feel about someone....This one is confusing. haha
[3] Caducus 18-Dec-02/4:54 AM Reply
Hoped it would be about bikin line, however babybel cheeses have never been written about as far as i know.
[8] blkarak 18-Dec-02/7:13 AM Reply
Well despite what others think, I like it, it's fun.