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wax (Free verse) by New Life Drug
wax is so cool when it is in your hands why is the red moldable cover so neat? It seals the cheese, and is left for formation A dinosaur, a pacman. Made. You show the creation to your master and I laugh at you, slave of slave Then Gina crushes your masterpiece She longs to rebuild something better Working to make a flying dinosaur and all this time I stand with cool bright eyes Staring at the wax and at people's eyebrows Wax is so cool not like my eyes, but like a joke

Down the ladder: A holiday warning

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.285714
Weighted score: 4.807899
Overall Rank: 11029
Posted: October 25, 2002 5:05 PM PDT; Last modified: December 17, 2002 5:49 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] horus8 @ 24.126.117.82 | 26-Oct-02/8:30 AM | Reply
lose the last line, cuz nobody really gives a fuck. unfortunately...plus it draws more interest thatta way otay. otay. 6.
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 > horus8 | 17-Dec-02/7:43 PM | Reply
i like the last line now i don't know why i didn't recognize the scope of it earlier, sorry.o
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 194.222.223.239 > Bachus | 18-Dec-02/11:09 AM | Reply
Maybe because you and horus8 are entirely different personae?!?!?!???!??1//11//
[5] -=SeTTle=- @ 140.186.49.69 | 27-Oct-02/7:37 PM | Reply
WHAT
[n/a] New Life Drug @ 67.116.241.96 > -=SeTTle=- | 27-Oct-02/7:40 PM | Reply
I'm keeping you guessing.... hehe
[3] Tascobar @ 193.130.87.54 | 28-Oct-02/4:20 AM | Reply
Strange - this doesn't make any kind of sense whatsoever. Would indeed be better for the loss of the last line. 3.
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 28-Oct-02/7:45 AM | Reply
This is indeed strange. You central idea is good and some of your images work fine, and some bits seem unformed. This wax needs a bit more shaping I think. But your concept is good.
[n/a] New Life Drug @ 67.116.241.96 > Christof | 28-Oct-02/6:58 PM | Reply
Oi. You had to have been there... it was funny. My friends and I were just playing with wax.. but I used it as a metaphor for the way I feel about someone....This one is confusing. haha
[3] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 18-Dec-02/4:54 AM | Reply
Hoped it would be about bikin line, however babybel cheeses have never been written about as far as i know.
[8] blkarak @ 198.85.27.126 | 18-Dec-02/7:13 AM | Reply
Well despite what others think, I like it, it's fun.
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