Comments byINTRANSIT, 981–1000 back. Include replies

I, unfortunately, am not the powers that be. Otherwise I'd hand you your poetryc diploma and kick your fucking ass off poemranker!!!!
worker(s)!
Pinkmeister, This does have potential. It NEEDS to drop the (sentence) structure. and it reepats itself for an ending. It's good to play poet. It's better to back it up with some work.
on The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus 5 Aug 2003, 4:31 PM
I prefer your closing line because it seems (she) was a lover or girlfriend. and you're going home to silence or the lack of a second body. I think Zs suggestion would lead me to think "mother".

Croupier? absolutely.
on epicentre by richa 6 Aug 2003, 7:26 AM
I'm going to rifle through your files for a little while. Your average is very consistent. I find that fascinating for some reason. This is excellent btw.
on some deleted poem 6 Aug 2003, 7:31 AM
Definitely one of the better and unrecognized poets here.
They say living well is the best revenge.

Today is your day bro.
Tonight is your night bro.

Happy 29!!
on some deleted poem 7 Aug 2003, 8:12 AM
You put the lime in the coconut and mix it all up!
on Myopic Labotomized Hubris by Retaliate 7 Aug 2003, 4:50 PM
Go ahead and hit the brake. Just let me change lanes first.
on blue lilac and I (edit) by richa 7 Aug 2003, 4:55 PM
...angered by salmon.... but it doesn't fit the tone of your piece. I'm green with anchovies.Sorry, dont like the trombone. another instrument maybe.
on Three Brothers by EAger to Offend 8 Aug 2003, 5:59 AM
You just described most rankers!
on I An Anew (re edit) by scitz 8 Aug 2003, 6:30 AM
rids? or rides. thats the only thing that trips me.
on Portsmouth belle 3 by Garrett S Sexton 8 Aug 2003, 4:21 PM
S-4 obviously. and the last line can lose (amongst) and simplify and still be ok.
Still the man with brass balls filled with solid gold dancers. or had his way with solid gold dancers.

on Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy 11 Aug 2003, 7:06 AM
I think s-1 l-3 is unnecessarily long. s-6, (soon),finally, maybe? s-9 opposite coasts? I'm a truck driver and verified by my atlas: Sagadahoc county,ME, Auburn, Lewiston area. To: Hudson, N.Y., I don't think you'd see much of CT. More like Mass. I am aware that this may be fiction(though it sounds like it may have happened, parts of it at least), This is one of my few areas of knowledge. That's my (big) ding on this. S-12 startle(d). S-13 drop the paranthetical, make 'em look it up. also, why only oral? I would think one would want to "access all areas", especially trying to go through such nonsense. Finally, S-13 (accelerating), breaking pace again, maybe.

On a positive note, I really enjoyed this, and I think poetandknowit has a challenger in the poetry/prose arena.
on Hardcore Denial or Sumpin'. by Shardik 11 Aug 2003, 7:15 AM
Start-up to wheels-up, sans warm up. Gone.
on Happiness & Old Age by Caducus 11 Aug 2003, 5:46 PM
Blue ribbons here!
on Rearview mirrors by horus8 15 Aug 2003, 6:12 AM
Strong message. Mellow tone.
on whilst the bells ring by richa 15 Aug 2003, 6:20 AM
Time to take your turn at the top. Brilliant.
on for sue (20030815) by nentwined 15 Aug 2003, 4:55 PM
Bing fucking go!