on The last Smurf standing by Bachus
15 Aug 2003, 5:02 PM
Ok you baaaaad boy. But no more freebies!
on First Love by Mr Pig
15 Aug 2003, 8:35 PM
From kindergarten until mid-high, I hung on any piece of info that she might come back. She never did. I never will.
on Icecream Soul by LuckyJoe
15 Aug 2003, 8:36 PM
good metaphor. needs chutzpah.
on drought on talkin river by richa
16 Aug 2003, 5:34 PM
definitely better. i never quite make the jump from 2 to 3 though. holding score.
on some deleted poem
17 Aug 2003, 6:02 AM
I think the nonsensical part is just over the line. taper it in a little. keep the street slang. I like the way it starts and changes to "poetry" at the end.
lose the (eeeeffff) line, replace it with something rhyming and silly.
lose the (eeeeffff) line, replace it with something rhyming and silly.
Yes! How can p/k say your poetry is going nowhere? Honestly, I may not understand most of what you are writing, but you have no boxes. no boundaries. no rules. this is what makes you work. once people get past the wrought iron gates, you're an amusement park with the best rides. always worth the price of admittance.
on The makings of a killer by <{Baba^Yaga}>
17 Aug 2003, 6:15 AM
Are you already in Lompoc? Did e-mode put you there? bastards.
on drought on talkin river by richa
17 Aug 2003, 6:17 AM
nice bridgework.
on missing time (revised) by Bill Z Bub
17 Aug 2003, 4:58 PM
I like the randomly shifted lines better. Dropping the buttercup works! I don't know what perfect is, but I can't imagine it being better than this. you piss me off.
on Confession of a troubled man by Hostileintent
17 Aug 2003, 5:17 PM
I'll come back. First read looks pretty good.
on the secret life of eyebrows by Bill Z Bub
17 Aug 2003, 8:14 PM
If there's a best poet (overall) award for this site, I'd vote for you. eyebrows, HA! whodathunk.
on some deleted poem
18 Aug 2003, 6:57 PM
I liked it and should have said so sooner. I also got it , except I wasn't led to believe the screen was blank. I dunno. Isn't it (nentwined) to the east? Or is it west? Where is the nentwined system, anyway?
on some deleted poem
19 Aug 2003, 5:45 AM
whew. that's a serious piece of poetry there.
on August and everyt'ing after by w~* ATHENA *~w
19 Aug 2003, 5:47 AM
Your style is definitely one-off. maybe two. I need more lines to "clue me in".
on August and everyt'ing after by w~* ATHENA *~w
19 Aug 2003, 6:17 AM
Also, if your appetite is insatiable, why not write more?
on quarter-step (abridged) by richa
23 Aug 2003, 7:42 AM
This edges something of a marriage, to me. I would say: Just (ours).
on quarter-step (abridged) by richa
23 Aug 2003, 7:42 AM
This edges something of a marriage, to me. I would say: Just (ours).
on POEMRANKER HAT - WHERES MY FREE MUG BITCH? by Don-Quixote
25 Aug 2003, 5:13 PM
You have quelled my grumpiness for the day. Thank you.
on The Better of the Sea by abecedarian
25 Aug 2003, 5:20 PM
I hate people who write sailing verse better than I. Grrr. I pray... I pray..... something nasty and including a great white whale. I think I've just poxed myself.lol