POEMRANKER HAT - WHERES MY FREE MUG BITCH?

I want a poemranker hat so i can be a cool cat sippin mocha latte at the cafe reading Yeats and yappin bout Coleridge inbetween flicks of my cigarrete. I want my poemranker mug to have a mini heating system, and a cooling device for when im drinking iced coffee. I want a poemranker pen that will write in rainbow colors so that i can give mommy my poetry and tell her to hang it on the fridge. I want a poemranker van, with a big sign saying: "Welcome to the jungle, leave Godzilla alone, and let the chimp throw feces at you." Yeah.. theres lots of things you can get at the alms store.