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Icecream Soul (Free verse) by LuckyJoe
The fluid of love; red, Slush pumping through veins, Shivers consuming body in whole, Harsh words getting colder, Freezing solid… Numbness all that’s known. Circular container sits, Frozen delight left on the counter top, Inside my soul melting ice cream, Seeping from the edges, Indulge in gluttony, Crave the sweet taste, Consume whole before melted away.

Up the ladder: I An Anew (re edit)
Down the ladder: Recycle

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Weighted score: 5.2241178
Overall Rank: 4278
Posted: August 15, 2003 6:52 PM PDT; Last modified: August 15, 2003 6:52 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] DreamerSupreme @ 63.93.106.97 | 15-Aug-03/7:00 PM | Reply
wheres the beef? milky ice cream drippin, looks like your masterbatin.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.24 > DreamerSupreme | 16-Aug-03/12:49 PM | Reply
Like my masterbation? I surely hope you haven't seen what mine looks like...ewww *shuts all the blinds*

What would you suggest here? You're comment didn't tell me anything other than reading the poem put food on your mind... food and sex. Strawberries anyone? hehe
[6] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 15-Aug-03/7:03 PM | Reply
neither here nor there.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.24 > horus8 | 16-Aug-03/12:50 PM | Reply
Where is here?
Where is there?
*walks around nodding head in confushion*
[6] INTRANSIT @ 205.188.208.102 | 15-Aug-03/8:36 PM | Reply
good metaphor. needs chutzpah.
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.24 > INTRANSIT | 16-Aug-03/12:47 PM | Reply
How would you suggest I use more chutzpah inturn being more brazen giving it more presumptuousness? As soon as I do that I'm going to be spoon feeding the reader the metaphor am I not?
Suggestions would be great here... thanks :)
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