| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Aug-03/5:26 PM |
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This is why I take the 287 and bypass the whole enchilada. Fuckin' Cross Bronx ain't no fun neither.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Aug-03/6:20 AM |
You're lousy at hiding your skill behind pimple poetry.
unquenchable has to go. needs tweaks, but keep it.
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| Re: My Show at the Whiskey a Go Go on the 26th of August 2003 by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
26-Aug-03/6:25 AM |
I'd much rather be there than runnin' this east coast shit! Rock the house, dude!
I'd love to hear n.i.w.s. ! fuck.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
26-Aug-03/6:30 AM |
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| Re: Laundry Day by impert&ent |
26-Aug-03/6:34 AM |
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Change the opener. I think the rest is great.
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| Re: Portsmouth belle 4 by Garrett S Sexton |
26-Aug-03/3:07 PM |
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sweet. sad. dirty. opportunist.
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| Re: Nightshades by Bachus |
27-Aug-03/3:34 PM |
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Maaaaan, you and them villanelles really know how to get it on!
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| Re: missing time (revised) by Bill Z Bub |
7-Sep-03/5:04 PM |
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I overworked my fish and his eskimo a while ago. It got so bad, I had to put them both down. Don't let it happen to you.
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| Re: My nails are in love with your chalkboard by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
15-Sep-03/4:47 PM |
lapel-grab-haymaker-followthrough. not pulled.
sadness+sadness=sadness
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| Re: sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/4:53 PM |
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Ok, I'm oversurplussed on city traffic. Trade ya for that cliff? Well done. Always good to hear from the Prime Minister.
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| Re: playing the scratching game by nentwined |
15-Sep-03/4:56 PM |
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Lawd knows I knead the hep.
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| Re: You are a divider by Bachus |
15-Sep-03/5:02 PM |
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Suggestion: DON'T Love with your all. Save some for yourself. It won't affect the intensity level at all. It's another dimension behind the levels. go.
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| Re: this is your poetry by nentwined |
23-Sep-03/7:05 AM |
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If we followed this, would poemranker cease to exist?
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| Re: One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined |
23-Sep-03/7:19 AM |
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I'm not keen on emery for some reason. I suspect the stanza would need to be revised to correct and I know what a pain that can be. otherwise, this flows much better.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
24-Sep-03/7:10 PM |
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You need to change the opening, sounds too seminar-ish. also, blend 2and3? Have you ever heard of anti-noise? I'd love to use your (sine) sometime.
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| Re: body image by http://mulberryfairy |
25-Sep-03/5:00 PM |
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wordiness is an advantage. more to work with. unlike my sometimes ground-up-bones-for-a-poem style. Seriously, spend some time with this and the fox poem. both have plenty going for them. whv.
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| Re: Pauling in Disguise (Ignorance and Arrogance) by Geschäftsreise |
25-Sep-03/5:20 PM |
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I won't spoil this for the others.
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| Re: Brighton Beach by Caducus |
25-Sep-03/5:38 PM |
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last line in s-1 took a wrong turn for me. otherwise....
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
25-Sep-03/5:53 PM |
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killer opening line. nothing else, sorry
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| Re: Life's Work by baughworm |
26-Sep-03/1:16 PM |
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cumbersome/heavy-redundant, in fact, lose the not started stanza altogether. and I don't like (poor sod) either. i get the geeling you're trying to end this on a positive note. poor sod doesn't fit. put it back on the lift, and adjust accordingly. whv.
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