Comments byINTRANSIT, 941–960 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 25 Aug 2003, 5:26 PM
This is why I take the 287 and bypass the whole enchilada. Fuckin' Cross Bronx ain't no fun neither.
on some deleted poem 26 Aug 2003, 6:20 AM
You're lousy at hiding your skill behind pimple poetry.
unquenchable has to go. needs tweaks, but keep it.
I'd much rather be there than runnin' this east coast shit! Rock the house, dude!
I'd love to hear n.i.w.s. ! fuck.
on some deleted poem 26 Aug 2003, 6:30 AM
don't touch it.
on Laundry Day by impert&ent 26 Aug 2003, 6:34 AM
Change the opener. I think the rest is great.
on Portsmouth belle 4 by Garrett S Sexton 26 Aug 2003, 3:07 PM
sweet. sad. dirty. opportunist.
on Nightshades by Bachus 27 Aug 2003, 3:34 PM
Maaaaan, you and them villanelles really know how to get it on!
on missing time (revised) by Bill Z Bub 7 Sep 2003, 5:04 PM
I overworked my fish and his eskimo a while ago. It got so bad, I had to put them both down. Don't let it happen to you.
lapel-grab-haymaker-followthrough. not pulled.

sadness+sadness=sadness
on sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined 15 Sep 2003, 4:53 PM
Ok, I'm oversurplussed on city traffic. Trade ya for that cliff? Well done. Always good to hear from the Prime Minister.
on playing the scratching game by nentwined 15 Sep 2003, 4:56 PM
Lawd knows I knead the hep.
on You are a divider by Bachus 15 Sep 2003, 5:02 PM
Suggestion: DON'T Love with your all. Save some for yourself. It won't affect the intensity level at all. It's another dimension behind the levels. go.
on this is your poetry by nentwined 23 Sep 2003, 7:05 AM
If we followed this, would poemranker cease to exist?
on One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined 23 Sep 2003, 7:19 AM
I'm not keen on emery for some reason. I suspect the stanza would need to be revised to correct and I know what a pain that can be. otherwise, this flows much better.
on some deleted poem 24 Sep 2003, 7:10 PM
You need to change the opening, sounds too seminar-ish. also, blend 2and3? Have you ever heard of anti-noise? I'd love to use your (sine) sometime.
on body image by http://mulberryfairy 25 Sep 2003, 5:00 PM
wordiness is an advantage. more to work with. unlike my sometimes ground-up-bones-for-a-poem style. Seriously, spend some time with this and the fox poem. both have plenty going for them. whv.
I won't spoil this for the others.
on Brighton Beach by Caducus 25 Sep 2003, 5:38 PM
last line in s-1 took a wrong turn for me. otherwise....
on some deleted poem 25 Sep 2003, 5:53 PM
killer opening line. nothing else, sorry
on Life's Work by baughworm 26 Sep 2003, 1:16 PM
cumbersome/heavy-redundant, in fact, lose the not started stanza altogether. and I don't like (poor sod) either. i get the geeling you're trying to end this on a positive note. poor sod doesn't fit. put it back on the lift, and adjust accordingly. whv.