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whilst the bells ring (Free verse) by richa Plants doff their flowers
Stalks speared to the sun
Respecting the hours
Church chimed three.. two... one...
Ringing out brave
In a tall chimney spire
The bells cupboard caged
Still drown out the choir
The floorboards beneath
Creak side to side
Pine pressed a green
Hinting a thyme
Cursed under the shadow
Of bells burned a bronze
Whilst ropes hang a gallow
And chimes ding a dong
Sleep... sleep... sleep...
The candlestick fields
Reap.. reap.. reap
The scythe of the bells
Up the ladder:
Obituary for the Moon
Down the ladder:
epicentre
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8636365
Posted: October 1, 2002 11:13 AM PDT; Last modified: August 14, 2003 7:10 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.8301167 Overall Rank: 346 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
[10]
god'swife @ 209.178.176.17
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1-Oct-02/11:26 AM
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Reply
Fuck yes! S4 is briliant. Simple. "The scythe of the bells" is unique and has a lovely sound. Please help loneshadow out. He's got the will but lacks only the tools. Lend him some of yours please. You are a fine craftsman.
this is the best i have read of yours. i liked it very much. great, sharp rhythm, macbre imagery, mood, tone...
bravo.
an old one of mine, I just deleted the last verse and changed a single line for housekeeping purposes
Richa, this is lovely--very Emily Dickinson in its deceptive simplicity. Stalks spear the sun, maybe, to make it more active? Gallows, with the s, is the singular, btw.
One of my absolute favorites.
Your use of language and ability to illustrate so much with concise lines always makes me envy you. Not that it matters but heres your gold nugget --10
Time to take your turn at the top. Brilliant.
actually got chills at the last two lines... must be worth a 10
Whilst ropes huh? Sounds a little archaic for common language
It's all fine except the "ding a dong" part. Last time my dong was dinged it hurt like hell.
Are you fucking serious? This is truly awful. Childish trash. Oh dear.
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