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Obituary for the Moon (Lyric) by wilco Saw a flash outside my room
thought it was lightning
But it was just the moon.
Exploding into dusty waves
and watching as the universe
dug its lonesome grave.
Chorus:
There was nothing I could do
when the drugs stopped working.
So I smoked another cigarette
and wrote a letter to you.
Were you watching silently
when the light went away?
At least we have the sun.
Did it wake you from your sleep
and force you to open up
your life in time to live?
(Bridge)
I can remember sleeping with summer
and climbing walls of sleep.
Loving her like the end of a storm
with pictures of cloudless skies.
Chorus:
There was nothing I could do
when the drugs stopped working.
So I smoked another cigarette
and wrote an obituary for the moon.
Up the ladder:
At a hotel room in Royal Oak
Down the ladder:
whilst the bells ring
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8333335
Posted: May 6, 2004 4:29 PM PDT; Last modified: May 9, 2004 2:16 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.831663 Overall Rank: 345 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
Good song.
Good song indeed. Unfortunately a song is not necessarily a poem, though it can be. This straddles the border between song and poem.
Hence the little word "Lyric" next to the title.
Groovy. 'Rita, please. no salt.
I don't see the bar scene as others do.
I tend to be blind to what others see. I didn't see the moon "when the light went away." I was too busy fighting, protecting my self Putting off loving til "the end of a storm." Crap, I say, to the poemranker storm. Wish we all could just talk about poems. Like this one, which I like quite a lot.
Thanks, H. I'm not exactly sure where all this talk of liquor came from because this song doesn't mention it and it's not about the bar scene...but I do like bars and liquor quite a lot so I'll let it slide. ;0)
BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE
-10_
I wonder why hypatia changed her name to "Deleted User".....I liked the old name better....
That would work. yep, yes it would.
You know what? Sometimes I think that this weighted scoring system is some sloppy slaw. How do I get six 9s, an 8 and a 10 and I still only have a 6.08? Sloppy slaw indeed.
Boggles my mind but I think nentwined has a purty good handle on it, on the big picture.
It affects everyone the same, so - no worries.
Oh, somehow....it works to perfection. I just like saying sloppy slaw.
Sloppy what? Nothing I saw....10,10.
You know, I've read this quite a few times now, and I like the first two stanza's, but I lost it or you lost it when you started in on the chorus. Could you try to find what you had when you started this and continue it as more of a poem than a song?
I suppose I could, but this conveys the meaning that I want it to have (to me anyway). Its a song and is not really complete w/o the music. I feel that its good as is and don't feel the need to change it. Thanks for the comment though. It has to progress and I feel that it did. You must understand that the whole part about the moon exploding is drug induced in addition to metaphor. The rest is simply, as I said, progression as I see it.
I liked it...good jod
wow.......blows my mind..........this is so ultimately excellent............10!!!!!!
-mega
Are you Hewey Lewis?
Nope, Kenny Loggins.
Very unique voice here. Edgy and filled with
imagery. Good stuff here. 677 view(s)
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poet?