Re: Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	8-Jan-06/7:22 PM
I liked it, I don't know why. As far as critisizing it, I wouldn't do you enough justice, though I think you could change a couple of words here there.
Re: Sunlighting by ALChemy	9-Jan-06/3:17 AM
Beautiful! I am a nature lover, and am almost always impressed with themes dealing with nature. I do not stress much on punctuation, but on the idea conveyed by the poet. Imagination is one of the most effective tools in poetry coupled with what you are within, and your expression in this poem is very impressive. Full marks to you, and I'm still waiting for the Oh merry Fay - part II.
Re: The Forgetting by Dovina	9-Jan-06/3:40 AM
No offence, but somehow, something's missing. The poem's good, but I don't feel the punch as much as I do in some poems.
Re: The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	9-Jan-06/4:16 AM
When I was checking the charts to find the best, i noted your poem ranking -1. Curiously I read it, and must say, hats off to you! you did a wonderful job on that - barrister or not. Hmmm, now for a hot cup of coffee....please may I have one.
Re: Slaves and their Serpents by cyan9	9-Jan-06/9:23 AM
Not my cup of tea. As for the para 1 line 4, you said it! Your confession suits you very well.
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Jan-06/9:32 AM
Good work!
Re: We'll be right back after these messages by INTRANSIT	9-Jan-06/10:29 AM
Hmmm, Ahem, .... I'm speechless. A bit weird I feel, or maybe its not got to me well enough.
Re: California triolets by zodiac	9-Jan-06/10:48 AM
Not bad...... You have a nice way of turning a very obscure scene into poetic reality.
Re: What Matters by Dovina	12-Jan-06/8:39 AM
Excuse me, but spell out the 17 syllables here. Am I losing something. I still find it confusing figuring out a Haiku. 5-7-5?
Re: A Haiku by amanda_dcosta	13-Jan-06/9:28 PM
This might be way off. Criticism welcome. I'm trying to figure it out..... though haven't had a lot of time to think about it. With kids.........!
Re: Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo	13-Jan-06/9:33 PM
The idea's quite good though the presentation could have been a bit more connected. I liked it. Keep it up.
Re: Racism 2 by Dovina	14-Jan-06/12:04 AM
Dovina, I hope you don't mind, but, personally I feel you haven't conveyed your matter very clearly. Somehow, I don't feel very impressed by it.
Re: Flow by zodiac	14-Jan-06/3:25 AM
Hmmmm. Quite good. ;-)
Re: A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta	16-Jan-06/1:33 AM
This is a poem I wrote last year (21st Jan), while on the train, on my way to my Grandma's funeral. Her name is Pearl Heldt, and she was such a wonderful person to me and my family, and it was with deep sorrow and gratitude that I wrote this. You might find a lot of portions need editing, but I have kept it this way, unedited, due to the fact that I wrote it spontaneously, within 15 - 20 min. for her. All the same, critiques view is welcome. We will be celebrating her 1st death anniversary on the 20th Jan. May her soul rest in peace.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Jan-06/1:43 AM
Hmmm, now what do I say? Is this from real life experiences that have had a beautifully, strong outpouring of love being described? Looks to me like it is. I'm quite impressed by the choice of comparitive characters. By the way, where's the reference to " Naked Gods" that dovina has pointed out to, or has this piece been edited? ( Sorry Dovina, am not trying to point out anything against you.)
Re: A LOVER’S TORMENT by anushree	16-Jan-06/9:32 AM
Very beautifully worded. may be a bit forced, but on the whole you could justify your choice of words. Your presentation of the theme is what stands out. Good work.
Re: THE NIGHT STAGE by anushree	16-Jan-06/9:36 AM
Not quite specific and structured as your previous piece. Somehow the punch is missing.
Re: A SURREAL DEPREDATION! by anushree	16-Jan-06/9:42 AM
Sorry, but I am unable to connect with this poem. Phrases are good, but somehow it doesn't balance on the whole.
Re: Reckoning by <~>	16-Jan-06/9:54 AM
Good work! Keep it up.
Re: A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta	22-Jan-06/8:07 PM
Dovina, correct me if i'm wrong. I stated that I've posted it unedited since having written it last year. This was so that you could read the original piece that was written. This was what I wrote spontaneously for her and had done nothing about it since then. But, all the same, I've said that critique's views are welcome. I agree, I wrote it in a time of deep sorrow, but then, that doesn't mean you can't tell me what portions need editing or what you feel about the poem. When I wrote this and the many other pieces of mine, I had no one to actually guide me, and there was no feed back. I rely on you guys to give me a frank opinion. So be free (and unsympathetic) to air your opinion, especially when asked for. I would really appreciate this.