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A tribute to our most precious Pearl (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta We grew up in a home tâwas yours
Filled with your love and warm embrace,
You taught us how to live our lives
In Jesusâ name and in His grace.
Your word was firm, you stood your place
For truth and love and care,
You gave to all who came to you
The impossible youâd dare!
With love you taught us right from wrong
With love you sacrificed
With love you bore your aches and pains
And not one bit youâd sigh.
Yet, still your spirit wouldnât rest
Until you did your best.
And Jesus from His throne above
Was always there to bless.
With pride we raise this tribute
To your name most precious Pearl
Weâre proud to be a part of you
To carry out your work.
We pledge to go today in love
As Jesus you did follow
And claim His many promises
Today and not tomorrow.
May God the Father, Son and Spirit
Dwell within your soul
As you did be to each your way
Grandmother, mum and spouse.
And may the divine Spirit
Grant you eternal rest
As you leave your earthly home
For the place you deserve best.
We know youâll wait for us to come
And share your home as always.
And, now we know the best way there
Is Jesus whom you did follow.
With pride we send you on your way
To where you now belong.
To Paradise â the Promised Land;
To our Eternal Home.
Eternal rest give unto her, O lord,
And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May her soul rest in peace, Amen.
Up the ladder:
Wrapping a Gift
Down the ladder:
Deep inside silence of a dark breeze
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.2
Posted: January 16, 2006 1:25 AM PST; Last modified: January 16, 2006 1:25 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.2622466 Overall Rank: 3978 Comments:
[n/a]
amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37
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16-Jan-06/1:33 AM
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Reply
This is a poem I wrote last year (21st Jan), while on the train, on my way to my Grandma's funeral. Her name is Pearl Heldt, and she was such a wonderful person to me and my family, and it was with deep sorrow and gratitude that I wrote this. You might find a lot of portions need editing, but I have kept it this way, unedited, due to the fact that I wrote it spontaneously, within 15 - 20 min. for her. All the same, critiques view is welcome. We will be celebrating her 1st death anniversary on the 20th Jan. May her soul rest in peace.
You have validated her work in my opinion.
Alchemy, thanks a ton. Somehow, each time I think about her I feel I could go on writing and writing about her. She is the inspiration behind my dream as a poet, and probably someday she would probably smile her full smile when she sees my book published.
Good work, Amanda. I especially like the first and seventh verses (though "did be" should just be "were"). Nice.
Amanda, I hate being the referee who calls an unpopular foul, but thatâs how I feel. You have posted a poem, written in a time of sorrow, that you say you do not intend to edit and which you admit needs editing. I take the poem as heartfelt sentiment for a wonderful grandmother, and for that it is a good poem. But I think the âfoulâ comes when you post it on a site for voting and commenting, because there is little a commenter can say without sounding unsympathetic, and to vote low is show lack of sympathy for your feelings or lack of appreciation for your grandmother. Hope you understand.
So...
This is hardly the place to worry about sounding unsympathetic. Tell her what you think. Even if she won't change this poem your ideas may effect the next poem she writes. Anybody who complains about valid negetive criticism as being cruel is a total pussy.
I considered doing that, and I find plenty to complain about in this poem. I responded as I did because everyone who has commented seemed to be doing so out of curtesy to her and her grandmother. Either that or they really think the poetic structure of this poem is great.
I'm playing with the idea that there are more arenas in poetry than I've previously imagined. There's the hymnal, religious, family-oriented arena (amanda's); the poetic song lyric arena (like wilco's); the publication in Big Name journals arena (mine); the deeply personal arena; the writer's-pleasure-only arena, probably; and who knows how many others (SLAM!, California wackiness, goth, poop.)
Amanda's poems would not be successful in my arena, yes. Neither would mine be suitable for hers. But in our own arenas, we're both aces. To be sure, the very best poetry is the best because it suits more than one crowd or idea of poetry - Frost comes to mind for being personal and big name; Donne for being lyrical, big-name, and devotional. And so on. Should I insist on judging amanda's work by how well it would fit in, say, Atlantic Quarterly? Or an L.A. SLAM! reading? Doesn't that discount a lot of popular, enduring writing that's well-suited to its place? Feel free to disagree. I can see why anyone would.
Clearly Dovina thinks all poemes should be deposited in the Arena of Gladiatorial Combat. I, for one, am less belligerent. I have always sought refuge in the Arenas of Constructive Criticism and Ritualistic Funeral Poetry, which is where we find ourselves now...
...but this dumpling leaves a sour taste in my mouth. There isn't a single poeme alive that couldn't be made better by referring to The Holy Spirit as The Holy Ghost. The King James Version learnt this lesson long ago, and amanda would do well to follow its example. The Holy Ghost is a Ghost. It haunts things. That is the definition of Ghost. Why would Bibles refer to it as a Ghost if it was some sort of special 'Ghost' that wasn't actually a ghost at all because it didn't really haunt things? The two defining characteristics of a ghost are: (1) Haunting things (2) Walking through walls The Holy Ghost does both.
"I wanna be just as close as
the holy ghost is and lay you doowwwn in a bed of roses."- Bon Jovi. Oh yes. A great poetic device indeed.
When the Apostle Paul wrote about the Holy Ghost, he was using King James English and a 1620's dictionary, so you are absolutely correct.
Paul was writing in a tradition where spirit, ghost, and breath were the same word. In Greek, 'spirit' is most commonly translated ÏνεÏμα (pneuma), which you might recognize from some other interesting words.
'When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.'
In Mt.14:26 and Mk.6:49, the word is ΦάνÏαÏμα, phantasma, an appearance or apparition.
Yeah, I didn't actually mean the Matthew passage to come into this discussion. I just thought it was cute.
I also didn't mean Greek used the same word for spirit/ghost/breath; I meant Hebrew, Arabic, and Aramaic do.
Dont know the history of the drafts but dont care its one of those poems which moves me.
That rarely happens.
Dovina, correct me if i'm wrong. I stated that I've posted it unedited since having written it last year. This was so that you could read the original piece that was written. This was what I wrote spontaneously for her and had done nothing about it since then. But, all the same, I've said that critique's views are welcome. I agree, I wrote it in a time of deep sorrow, but then, that doesn't mean you can't tell me what portions need editing or what you feel about the poem. When I wrote this and the many other pieces of mine, I had no one to actually guide me, and there was no feed back. I rely on you guys to give me a frank opinion. So be free (and unsympathetic) to air your opinion, especially when asked for. I would really appreciate this.
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