Re: May I Help by Dovina	22-Jan-06/8:15 PM
Good work. Seems to be better than the last couple of piece you've posted here.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jan-06/8:26 PM
Alchemy, ha ha.... I don't know what to think of this. Is this poetry? Give me a little insight into this. Or maybe, its because i'm very tired. I've been travelling with my three year old for the past one week, especially the last 18 hrs, and have just got back home. Wouldn't be fair to vote now.
Re: Three Skinheads by Caducus	22-Jan-06/8:34 PM
I think I get the idea of what you're trying to present, but its too elaborately written. Putting it in as few words as possible could also be effective. The theme behind it is good.
Re: Temporary moments by Prince of Void	22-Jan-06/8:42 PM
A beautiful piece, although I think the last few lines could be rephrased a bit.
Re: Jailbird by zodiac	22-Jan-06/8:52 PM
Tell me, was she( or is it he) really Inside. or was it that she was away and you waited anxiously to reunite, causing you to go off track, like, doing something different.....redecorating, smoking, etc. I might be going totally off-track myself, but I'm trying to reason it out metaphorically. The piece is good, though.
Re: My Reason by PoeticXTC	22-Jan-06/9:44 PM
A bit of an odd piece. Seems like love has been a disappointment, and that you are either angry at yourself or with him. Maybe it could have been more clearer.
Re: Topper Fey by ALChemy	24-Jan-06/12:57 AM
Al, isn't it supposed to spell Fay rather than Fey? Or is this unconnected to Oh Merry Fay. This piece is pretty good, though i should agree with cyan9 that towards the end it does stand out a bit. Also, punctuating the end of each verse might be needed.
Re: When God is Needed No More by ALChemy	24-Jan-06/1:30 AM
Alchemy,something quite different but good. I've been reading the comments and must agree that its a bit preachy. But thats how it goes on and off....so no second thoughts to that. I did get the last four lines and thats what gave the punch to the poem when I first read it. I reread the last half to my husband- the part from 'Now children you have grown.....' as that's what gave me the comparisons. I might as well give you a ten... you've given me something to think about.
Re: When God is Needed No More by ALChemy	24-Jan-06/1:33 AM
And to you drnick, I'm tempted to say that there's no such thing as live peacefully without religion. These days, man does not rely on God but on his (man's)own capabilities and "brains", all in the name of religion. Put God into the scene and give Him total control and then we'll know the difference. "Take your breath, you return to clay And your plans today come to nothing." Think about this.
Re: A Schizophrenic by amanda_dcosta	24-Jan-06/1:44 AM
This is more like a struggling mood. I've been struggling to understand a schiz - and its portrayed in how I wrote it. :-)
Re: I Remembered, Upon Waking by Alizarin_Crimson	24-Jan-06/8:02 PM
The poem is well written... though it gave me the idea of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. Well written and a good theme.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jan-06/10:17 PM
Michael, first of all, welcome to this site. This is very poetic and yes, colourful. I love painting, and this does indeed appeal to me. Fallen out of love, haven't you, or am I wrong?
Re: Insanity by Lifeboatman	25-Jan-06/12:17 AM
Poetry-wise, this might be good (still, I'm not saying it is), but matter-wise, it stinks!
Re: A Book's Plight by amanda_dcosta	25-Jan-06/9:22 AM
Well, this was more like- done at the spur of the moment. I thought of something and got connected and one to one the piece seemed to flow. Too simple and kiddish - but then, makes me also feel nostalgic about a lot of things gone by, stories that the book of my life would tell.
Re: A Sheep’s Wish by Dovina	25-Jan-06/10:23 AM
This piece is written well, although there's times of break in flow and idea. Maybe with a bit of rearrangement of words you could do better.
Re: A moment, homeward by ecargo	25-Jan-06/5:55 PM
It's a good piece. Well written and has some good stuff too. I was taken aback by the 'crows'. I had never pictured 'crows' with snow, as we have hoardes of them here where its pretty hot. The last verse is beautiful. Reminded of the 'solitary reaper' - william wordsworth.
Re: Glitterati by ecargo	25-Jan-06/6:02 PM
Not bad! Although I wonder why the 4th verse should have a pesimistic tone to it. It's not usual for people to go to bed wondering if they'll ever get up. I could be wrong. Enlighten me.
Re: Tree of Life by ALChemy	25-Jan-06/6:10 PM
Does this have to be precicely accurate or correct in matter, i mean about the red/yellow leaves? I wouldn't know the difference. See, you guys are influencing my vote thought now. I might have commented spontaneously but now I keep wondering whether the matter is correct. All the same... its good. Poetic imagery of bright red leaves then it is!
Re: Oblivion by Sway	26-Jan-06/8:30 AM
Hmmm. Not bad
Re: Round 27 by Dovina	26-Jan-06/7:42 PM
I don't get this one. It doesn't seem too clear to me about what you're trying to convey.