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Topper Fey (Lyric) by ALChemy
…and has my darlin’ sent for me? Oh Topper Fey, Oh Topper Fey. I’ve counted seven hundred and thirty three Long lonely days I’ve been away. If ya ever did see her you’d understand Why I need her back in my arms again. So gimme a hand my dear old friend. Oh Topper help me make it home. There’s a sound not far behind us Like the crack of a hundred whips. And something’s zippin’ by us One just nipped me in my hip I’m loosin’ lots of blood and I’m loosin’ my grip Oh Topper please help me make it home Tell me are we almost there Oh Topper, Topper Fey I feel like I’m loosin’ air Is that chopper far away I can’t feel nothin’ anywhere Hurry, hurry Topper I’m gettin’ scared. Lord please spare me and answer my prayer Help Topper and me make it home. Now thank the lord above We finally made it to safe ground. You’ve carried me enough Dear friend It’s time to lay me down I’m afraid I couldn’t make it and now I’m heaven bound But don’t fret Topper ‘cause Heaven’s just like home Topper my brother tell my darlin’ I love her. And make her your’s so she’s not alone.

Down the ladder: Exist For You

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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10  .. 00
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4057
Posted: January 19, 2006 2:29 PM PST; Last modified: January 19, 2006 2:29 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 19-Jan-06/2:58 PM | Reply
Nicely done, and with such a good rhythm that the few lines that break cadence really stand out.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > Dovina | 19-Jan-06/3:08 PM | Reply
Thanks D. Some of the lyrics I write seem so fused to the melody and rhythm that I'm willing to bet that if 5 people came to me and sang their version of the song that at least 3 of them would sing it almost exactly how I hear it in my head.
[9] cyan9 @ 81.6.231.161 | 19-Jan-06/3:08 PM | Reply
Like it, amusing and fun. verse with Now thank the lord above stood out a little too much for my likings, too much of a change of rythm, or maybe the wrong sort of change
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > cyan9 | 19-Jan-06/3:24 PM | Reply
I've had this poem lying around for quite a while so it's hard for me to notice what you're pointing out but I do remember that in that stanza the rhythm and melody slowed down to bring in the closing lines. I think the "Now" is what causes the stanza to slow down slightly.
[8] AngelicVampiress @ 216.109.10.61 | 23-Jan-06/8:06 AM | Reply
*8* =)
[9] amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.37 | 24-Jan-06/12:57 AM | Reply
Al, isn't it supposed to spell Fay rather than Fey? Or is this unconnected to Oh Merry Fay.

This piece is pretty good, though i should agree with cyan9 that towards the end it does stand out a bit.

Also, punctuating the end of each verse might be needed.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > amanda_dcosta | 24-Jan-06/1:21 AM | Reply
Topper was written first. I don't know, maybe I decided to change the spelling to designate a male and female version of the name like they do in spanish. It's connected. They're both about love and war.
It's a lyric so I guess you really need to pick a melody an fit the words into it the best you can but I'll see what I can do about the end.
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