poemranker ::May I Help by Dovina

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Free verse № 137216

May I Help

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 19 Jan 2006 · 11 comments

I sit before you smiling skirt hiked up and loose above crossed knee with elbow a prop for palm and chin I remember how you drew me back against your chest your hands upon my hips a sunset in the west I wear this laughing smile to show you you remember and still you feel the sadness winning over joy Will you take my pensive offer and prevail above the dark enjoy for one small hour just to satisfy my heart?

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mean 6.60 weighted 5.19 rank 4691 views 290 View voting details →

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11 comments

[9] ALChemy 20-Jan-06/12:13 AM Reply
Nice. I'm not a girl so I can't identify with it but nice.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 20-Jan-06/1:36 PM Reply
With a name like Alchemy, you must be beautiful or a transvestite. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
[9] ALChemy › Dovina 20-Jan-06/2:32 PM Reply
Oh, so transvestites can't be beautiful. Well you must be real popular over there in San Fagsisco.

See I even know the best comebacks to my own remarks.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 20-Jan-06/3:12 PM Reply
I was a transvestite in a Van Heusen shirt and pants that could have been men’s, legally covered, and wondering why everyone should not wear what he wishes.
[9] ALChemy › Dovina 20-Jan-06/3:18 PM Reply
OK, now tell me you were making out with a cheerleader at the time and I'll die a happy man. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 20-Jan-06/3:24 PM Reply
Yes, but his tutu couldn't keep it all in. Please don't die, so few understand.
[9] ALChemy › Dovina 20-Jan-06/3:26 PM Reply
Damn, you ruined it. And I was almost there too.
[9] cyan9 20-Jan-06/5:04 AM Reply
Really liked the first verse, nice feel all the way through, last 2 lines warming as well.
[7] amanda_dcosta 22-Jan-06/8:15 PM Reply
Good work. Seems to be better than the last couple of piece you've posted here.
[n/a] Prince of Void 23-Jan-06/10:18 AM Reply
I love how you drew me thorogh the joy of poetry
that's beauty goes to my heart..and I contact ur feelings are restless thorough ur poems