Re: a comment on Soup Can by oneglove	23-Sep-06/1:15 PM
Okay, if that's what you want to say, why not say it in the first person, and give up on the universal "you." And the last line is weak; it needs to drive home, not talk about it.
Re: Shadows In Your Eyes by PoeticJustice	23-Sep-06/1:09 PM
Well, I can see from this how you feel, and that's a good thing. A lot of poets these days put a lid on their feelings, and all we get from them is language. What we want from you, however, is language. The other comments have said it; we want to read your clever turn of phrase and all that stuff. Just don't give up the other.
Re: a fresh start by *.*ReAdY To SnAp.*.	23-Sep-06/1:02 PM
Even if it has all been said many times, the impact of it must be like that great change of address we've read so much about, but none of us can describe from experience.
Re: weather poem part 7: a short, sudden gust by nypoet22	16-Sep-06/11:28 AM
Don't you mean, haiku? funny
Re: Prayer by amanda_dcosta	16-Sep-06/10:56 AM
I waited on the Lord, called on Him morning and night. Then, like the rush of stormy wind, He spoke with void-filling torrent, breaking the stillness of my heart. Sorry
Re: Week End Justification by half.italian	16-Sep-06/10:50 AM
"Sordid pleasures fly tipsy on my tongue, but there is no one to hear. Only hollow ears would only see words." Yep, that pretty much says it.
Re: don't touch me 2 by elderking	15-Sep-06/10:10 AM
There's just enough here to show an unclear scene. Only one thing I would omit: "from willful hand," because it's repeat as far as I can tell. You might want to let us in on a little more of what's going on.
Re: Jose Streets by SupremeDreamer	14-Sep-06/7:58 PM
There’s something about a man writing his own story, honestly and as he sees it, that comes across uninteresting. We want the twist of phrase, the poetry, the stimulating possibilities. We don’t want what’s actually there. You gave us poetry with “dark inebriated sleep,” but took, for the most part the known road. Good job.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 8: stating the obvious by nypoet22	14-Sep-06/7:15 PM
Since some of the lines begin with capital letters, we must assume those are the beginnings of sentences. Hence the pseudo-sentence: “Sweats out their pores when the thermostat rises.” I have tried all means of avoiding agreement with zodiac, and though he worded it clumsily, high temperature causes sweat; a thermostat setting may or may not, and does so only indirectly.
Re: weather poem part 8: stating the obvious by nypoet22	14-Sep-06/11:36 AM
Line 2 seems grammically wrong, otherwise great.
Re: To be alive by nightowl	14-Sep-06/11:32 AM
A greeting card kind of poem. It seems too oversaid to be impressive.
Re: a comment on Doubt by Dovina	11-Sep-06/7:38 AM
I see haw it can be taken that way, and since that’s not my intent, I changed the title and the second line.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 12: a dream by nypoet22	11-Sep-06/7:31 AM
At least you're posting current stuff, not stuffy stuff from past glory. I like that.
Re: a comment on From Across the Line by Dovina	11-Sep-06/7:02 AM
Yep, those are good suggestions. Thanks.
Re: weather poem part 12: a dream by nypoet22	10-Sep-06/6:38 PM
Now that I've read parts 9-11 of your weather series, I see how this can be a great ending, especially the last verse.
Re: weather poem part 9: song for gloria by nypoet22	10-Sep-06/6:34 PM
I wonder why you present these parts from the last, working toward the first, and why they are written in different styles, united as you say, by the theme of weather. All of them, up to this point, have some good lines, but I believe I'd do better in following your theme if the intro part were given first.
Re: a comment on The Natural Course of Fear by half.italian	10-Sep-06/6:24 PM
Thanks. For that I raise your vote. If you say my new hairstyle is attractive, I'll raise it again.
Re: a comment on The Natural Course of Fear by half.italian	10-Sep-06/4:57 PM
It's probably just me. I don't do well with a lot of abstraction. As you can see, mine are mostly plain.
Re: The Natural Course of Fear by half.italian	10-Sep-06/4:22 PM
Skeins of yarn are not parallel. Skeins of birds do not run up and down. It must be a sequence of events which run up and down,as opposed to something. ????
Re: Once they were gliders. by half.italian	9-Sep-06/4:41 PM
On first read I knew what this meant. Now after three reads I have no idea.