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Once they were gliders. (Free verse) by half.italian Once they were gliders.
Now the choked up cars hack along making tin out of silence.
They gutter up and sigh in turn like a procession for the handicapped.
If they find their cupid, their greasy knight,
new glittery prosthetics will keep them for awhile.
Up the ladder:
I think of you
Down the ladder:
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Posted: September 9, 2006 2:35 PM PDT; Last modified: September 9, 2006 3:14 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.1430435 Overall Rank: 5435 Comments:
[7]
Dovina @ 12.72.43.135
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9-Sep-06/4:41 PM
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Reply
On first read I knew what this meant. Now after three reads I have no idea.
Pretty cool, I'll have to come back to this later for a proper read of it :-)
What is this about? Maybe I am too tired... or this has no meaning. If the latter, kindly excuse me.
Its just about cars getting old and decrepit. The lucky ones will get repaired.
Take what you want from it.
Half.italian
Your imagery and lyrical cadences are great -- "Hack along making tin out of silience." "gutter up and sigh in turn." That's good, vivid and musical language. One thing I just realized that I think would help this. You should have named it simply "Cars" and in the second line where you say the word "cars" maybe changed that to "coupes" (the choked up coupes)or "sedans" or "wagons" or... not sure. Anyway, very nice poem. 290 view(s)
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