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Once they were gliders. (Free verse) by half.italian

Once they were gliders. Now the choked up cars hack along making tin out of silence. They gutter up and sigh in turn like a procession for the handicapped. If they find their cupid, their greasy knight, new glittery prosthetics will keep them for awhile.

dvincent 20-Sep-06/3:19 PM
Half.italian

Your imagery and lyrical cadences are great -- "Hack along making tin out of silience." "gutter up and sigh in turn." That's good, vivid and musical language.

One thing I just realized that I think would help this. You should have named it simply "Cars" and in the second line where you say the word "cars" maybe changed that to "coupes" (the choked up coupes)or "sedans" or "wagons" or... not sure.

Anyway, very nice poem.




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