Re: a comment on A Perfectly Normal Man by Dovina	1-Oct-06/3:19 PM
I appreciate these two diverse views - yours and Ranger's. Both are good. I think thaqt it verges on showing, not telling, by virtue of a woman giving her impression of a man's thinking. Thanks for commenting.
Re: a comment on Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk by nypoet22	30-Sep-06/5:07 PM
I only meant that the 575 meter feels like it has you in a straightjacket in this application. I see no benefit to using it in a story such as this.
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	30-Sep-06/11:27 AM
Frankly, I don't understand you on this one. If she is affectedly pretty and cute, as opposed to actually pretty, then why would you, a saint, want to give yourself to her? Probably, there is something I am missing here. I had to look up "twee" a briticism that I may be misinterpreting. Or maybe it's a sly way of saying you are not a saint.
Re: Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk by nypoet22	30-Sep-06/11:10 AM
It's hard to tell a story with verses in haiku. And they are haiku only in meter. I think it's too restraining to do that. A good try though.
Re: Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>	30-Sep-06/11:05 AM
If the indented lines are someone talking, and the non-indented lines someone else, then the two seem not conversing, but each in their own world. Either way, "someone" in the last verse, as opposed to "Someone" means to me that the person talking continues from two verses above, ignoring the other. Anyway, a nice set of thoughts on a peaceful getaway.
Re: Wyndham by Aetius	29-Sep-06/12:43 PM
You have been on Poemranker since 4/04, have posted 8 poems, commented on none, voted on none. And you have the audacity to expect comment and votes on this! Have a nice day. :(
Re: Colors of Me by MissUnderstood	29-Sep-06/11:20 AM
For your age, this is quite good. If your were 50, I would say it is a collection of cliches. The glory of youth is the newness of everything. It's quite refreshing. Keep writing, you're better at it than most thirteen-yeart-olds.
Re: a comment on Doubtcohol by drnick	28-Sep-06/4:41 PM
Thereon are built the greatest lives.
Re: Doubtcohol by drnick	27-Sep-06/9:10 PM
If you take the "c" from the title, it will sound more like "alcohol." Capitals at line beginnings are not consistent. "stays unperturbed" It's a good poem in need of help.
Re: a comment on Attention, This Just In by thepinkbunnyofdoom	27-Sep-06/8:59 PM
No, it would not. Say the poem is what you think it is. Don't validate her folly by joining it.
Re: a comment on The Dovina Memorial Bike Lane by Dovina	27-Sep-06/8:51 PM
All you have to do is get angry about something and then devise sour grapes to appease your anger. Thanks for the vote and comment.
Re: a comment on The Dovina Memorial Bike Lane by Dovina	27-Sep-06/8:49 PM
Thanks for getting back to this. I agree that “whereupon” is too long and legal. I’ll change it to “where its need was realized.” The used-abused decision falls, at least to me, to abused, because her act was abuse of her responsibility. Again, let me say that I expect no Edna-countering in anybody’s vote. Please vote as you rate the poem.
Re: Attention, This Just In by thepinkbunnyofdoom	25-Sep-06/3:28 PM
It seems overly wordy for what's being said, as if it's a first draft. Could be made into something though. Led, not lead, in the penultimate verse.
Re: a comment on Attention, This Just In by thepinkbunnyofdoom	25-Sep-06/3:24 PM
Dropping a ten, merely to balance a zero is negating the voting system. We all know it's corrupted anyway, but please don't join in the corruption. On mine, at least, please vote as you wish, not to counter the repugnant Edna.
Re: Solving Freud's Conflict (not a weather poem) by nypoet22	24-Sep-06/7:40 PM
Freud has been a called a man with "a whole climate of opinion." - WH Auden. So you have written a Freudian weather poem. Admit its inevitability. Death solves many conflicts, and our atoms mix eventually with those we hate. Best not to hate; maybe that's what you;re saying. Good poem.
Re: a comment on The Dovina Memorial Bike Lane by Dovina	24-Sep-06/7:31 PM
I agree on putting “abused” at the front of a new line. I’ll look at rewarking some of the other verbs too. Changing the verbs to present tense, though, takes from the antiquated feeling I’m trying for. Picture a brass plaque set in a concrete monument beside the bicycle lane in downtown Carpinteria. I doubt if it will ever be there, but it should. Thanks for the comment and vote.
Re: Her Eyes by Fayt	24-Sep-06/2:49 PM
Here you have writen an outline for the essence of a poem. It is not a poem, but good thoughts that you can make into a poem. Nice start.
Re: a comment on The Dovina Memorial Bike Lane by Dovina	24-Sep-06/2:46 PM
Thnaks for the zero-balancing ten, but how about a comment on the poem. We all know Edna is dim.
Re: Weather poem part 6: idols by nypoet22	23-Sep-06/1:30 PM
I like this, but I think the three verses beginning with "poor artist" are overwrought. They say that an artist cannot one-up on nature, an often-said idea that's good, but can be shortened.
Re: Farmhouse, Southern France (storm on arrival) by Ranger	23-Sep-06/1:19 PM
You know, Ranger, I always enjoy reading your poems for the language and clever phrases, but I'll be damned if I can pull many of them together and come up with some unifying picture of the poem as a whole. The meter is good here, and these are a unique ways of saying things, and maybe it's my own inadequacy as a reader, but can you come through with more clarity on the overall theme, if there is one?