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Attention, This Just In (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom I'm sure it comes as no new news
That once again I am without muse
And I'm sure you've heard all my critics say
That I write over worked banal trite
With varying degrees of cliche
I really care, someone turn off the light
You should know before we start
That this is only a mind game
You want to know the worst part,
Let's just remember the key to fame
It's only bad when they stop talking about you
So really, in my position, What is a gent to do?
I confess to my crime
I am merely wasting your time
Shitting my thoughts onto paper
It worked like a charm
And this is just another caper
You can go ahead and sound the alarm
I stole what I wanted, Your Attention
I've got it now, So I thought I'd Mention
It takes two to dance properly,
I lead and you followed me
Entered before you is a guilty plea
Are you ready to hold it against me?
Before you judge me in fury
I humbly ask the jury
Remember that Rome wasn't built in a day
And that no matter what the critics say
I'm making steps in the right direction
As we come to the end of this conception
Up the ladder:
Eulogy for a Poet
Down the ladder:
A Glass of Milk Inagodadavida
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: September 22, 2006 10:14 PM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2006 9:01 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.119203 Overall Rank: 5813 Comments:
[n/a]
Ranger @ 86.131.48.199
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23-Sep-06/2:20 AM
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Reply
You rap student, you.
with out NO
without YES illiterate.
The defintion of an iliterate is someone
1 : having little or no education; especially : unable to read or write Obviously I can read and write 2 a : showing or marked by a lack of familiarity with language and literature <an illiterate magazine> b : violating approved patterns of speaking or writing My vocabulary is fine. Considering that this is poetry, approved patterns don't really mean fuck. 3 : showing or marked by a lack of acquaintance with the fundamentals of a particular field of knowledge <musically illiterate> You might have me on three, if you include the larger body of everything I've ever written. However, whether or not I'm an illiterate or not doesn't change one fact. You are a Bitch. So please, do the world a favor, and go choke yourself on a big black sweaty aids infested penis. Your also stupid. A rational person would think, "oh god no, he wrote another one" and merely skipped over my submission, if they truly hated what I wrote so badly. You apparently lack the brains to do this. Making you a Stupid Bitch. Have a nice day Edna I look forward to hearing from you <3 Jason
Sir Bunny,
Edna is only here to irritate; the 'ironic English' demeanour is intended to lend weight to this in much the same way that -=Dark_Angel=- managed it. Unfortunately, Sweetlove has been neglecting the relevant -=Dark_Angel=- studies (and will therefore fail the end-of-semester -=Exam=-) which makes all 'Edna Sweetlove vulgar' poetry and comments fall under the category of 'irrelevant'. The best remedy for this sort of ailment is to ignore all such poems and comments, and instead talk to those of us who you might find remotely interesting. If the zeroes overly worry you, I will be more than happy to drop a ten your way to balance them out. Peace Ranger
Dropping a ten, merely to balance a zero is negating the voting system. We all know it's corrupted anyway, but please don't join in the corruption. On mine, at least, please vote as you wish, not to counter the repugnant Edna.
What if I said 'this poem is awesome' - would that put enough of a gloss over the vote manipulation to excuse my actions?
No, it would not. Say the poem is what you think it is. Don't validate her folly by joining it.
funny that someone mentioned rap. i'd really like to hear how this fits a beat and groove. and if it doesn't, change it so it does. for example, "you can go ahead and sound the alarm" could be shortened to "go n' sound the alarm." just an example.
It seems overly wordy for what's being said, as if it's a first draft. Could be made into something though. Led, not lead, in the penultimate verse.
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