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Colors of Me (Other) by MissUnderstood My emotions could paint you a rainbow.
My feelings have much to say.
My heart is red, my mood is blue.
My thoughts are sort of gray.
A kaleidoscope of colors.
Raining brightly from within.
Swirling round in circles.
Trying to find where to begin.
Yellow, green, and purple.
Pink, brown, and even teal.
All make a part of who I am.
The part of me that's real.
Up the ladder:
Subtle Reasons
Down the ladder:
Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.8
Posted: September 28, 2006 10:44 PM PDT; Last modified: September 28, 2006 10:44 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.095362 Overall Rank: 6104 The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:
Comments:
For your age, this is quite good. If your were 50, I would say it is a collection of cliches. The glory of youth is the newness of everything. It's quite refreshing. Keep writing, you're better at it than most thirteen-yeart-olds.
do you know about enjambement? it's a useful poetic device. this is an excellent start, but if you didn't end each line so suddenly, i think you could make this baby work overtime.
Yeah, I quite liked this. 'My heart is red, my mood is blue' is overused - but following it with 'My thoughts are sort of gray' makes it work, in my opinion. I'd alter the last line (it's very Linkin Park-y, whereas the rest is a bit more delicate). Keep writing rhythmic poetry (this is good), originality will come in time.
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You are only 13?! Then...I should have voted even higher!...this is better than ALOT of stuff I have read here in the past. Keep writing, and listen to the help people offer you. You have much potential. You write much better than a majority of the stuff I was doing at your age. Want some advice? Save EVERYTHING you write..it gives you ideas, fresh things come to mind later when you read them, and it creates a scrapbook of sorts where you can see how you grow as a writer. I'm glad you are here...i will be checking in to see what else you come up with. Don't be sensitive to what people comment to you...there are alot of seasoned writers in here, and they can be rather honest in a blunt way. I hope you can appreciate honesty and gain whatever help and encouragement you need. Welcome!