poemranker ::Colors of Me by MissUnderstood

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Other № 146751

Colors of Me

by MissUnderstood

Member since 2006 · Posted 28 Sep 2006 · 5 comments

My emotions could paint you a rainbow. My feelings have much to say. My heart is red, my mood is blue. My thoughts are sort of gray. A kaleidoscope of colors. Raining brightly from within. Swirling round in circles. Trying to find where to begin. Yellow, green, and purple. Pink, brown, and even teal. All make a part of who I am. The part of me that's real.

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mean 5.80 weighted 5.10 rank 6113 views 144 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

A favorite of MissUnderstood.

5 comments

[6] LilMsLadyPoet 28-Sep-06/10:54 PM Reply
You followed a rhyming patterned, and I felt it when you deviated from it...may you could find a way of sticking with it through to the end? I also think some commas, instead of period, would work better. That said, I like this. Simple style, but a nice little piece.
[6] LilMsLadyPoet › LilMsLadyPoet 28-Sep-06/11:03 PM Reply
oops...Typo>MAYBE you could find...
You are only 13?! Then...I should have voted even higher!...this is better than ALOT of stuff I have read here in the past. Keep writing, and listen to the help people offer you. You have much potential. You write much better than a majority of the stuff I was doing at your age. Want some advice? Save EVERYTHING you write..it gives you ideas, fresh things come to mind later when you read them, and it creates a scrapbook of sorts where you can see how you grow as a writer. I'm glad you are here...i will be checking in to see what else you come up with. Don't be sensitive to what people comment to you...there are alot of seasoned writers in here, and they can be rather honest in a blunt way. I hope you can appreciate honesty and gain whatever help and encouragement you need. Welcome!
[7] Dovina 29-Sep-06/11:20 AM Reply
For your age, this is quite good. If your were 50, I would say it is a collection of cliches. The glory of youth is the newness of everything. It's quite refreshing. Keep writing, you're better at it than most thirteen-yeart-olds.
[n/a] <~> 29-Sep-06/1:27 PM Reply
do you know about enjambement? it's a useful poetic device. this is an excellent start, but if you didn't end each line so suddenly, i think you could make this baby work overtime.
[8] Ranger 30-Sep-06/6:39 AM Reply
Yeah, I quite liked this. 'My heart is red, my mood is blue' is overused - but following it with 'My thoughts are sort of gray' makes it work, in my opinion. I'd alter the last line (it's very Linkin Park-y, whereas the rest is a bit more delicate). Keep writing rhythmic poetry (this is good), originality will come in time.