Re: Ben Fogle by Stephen Robins	wlshepherd 86.140.98.239	28-Feb-06/10:31 AM
All this talk of jam makes me feel hungry
Re: Moonlit Glare by Silverjackel	Fayt 141.157.35.222	28-Feb-06/10:26 AM
I like it. ^_^
Re: Together They Fell (Prose) by Fayt	Fayt 141.157.35.222	28-Feb-06/10:20 AM
Note: I havent proofread this very well yet so there may be a few flaws here and there, bear with me and ill get it completley updated soon.
Re: a comment on Together they Fell by Fayt	Fayt 141.157.35.222	28-Feb-06/10:15 AM
did what you asked for.. tell me what you think. :) its a first attempt so im looking forward to the critiscisms.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	28-Feb-06/9:22 AM
lol. Then my wisdom is arriving too late into your life. Perhaps some other poor lost soul I can save.
Re: Simon's Legacy (draft) by Caducus	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Feb-06/8:05 AM
I'd like to see a word after "mother" in L1 S2 to reflect the "womb sonic" line. To say my brother became my father might be a little less confusing in S3. I'm not sure how he managed hang himself from his firetruck. Some hardcore stuff here though.
Re: a comment on Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.28	28-Feb-06/3:37 AM
Dear Richa, I am sorry you don't like the poem.
Re: a comment on beauty by Adriaan	Adriaan 198.54.202.18	28-Feb-06/3:26 AM
Thanks for the comment. This poem refers to the foibles of humanity, and thus I have categorised it as a senryu. It is a bit of a borderline case though, and could well be called a haiku.
Re: Depression by terbenaw	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Feb-06/1:39 AM
Despise is neither a noun nor is it an adjective, except maybe in this sentence. Impressive stuff considering it's basically a long sustained whine.
Re: There by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Feb-06/1:19 AM
Been there, done that.
Re: a comment on An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	27-Feb-06/7:19 PM
Dovina, thanks for the insight. There's a lot to edit and correct in this piece. But since I've already posted it here, I'm just waiting for public opinion on how I should go about it. Your review helps.
Re: beauty by Adriaan	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/6:31 PM
Don't you mean haiku? Good analogy.
Re: Into the Shadows I Crawl by Silverjackel	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/6:26 PM
The title should be "Anger" or somesuch, I think. Why would "this aggravates me" be true? Otherwise good.
Re: Meltdown by longships	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/6:22 PM
Why a million suns? Otherwise it sounds like cold war rhetoric of the 50's.
Re: An Interview With King David by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/5:05 PM
This seems to get underway with the line: " What made you have such faith in God?" Before that, is seems cheesy and without much meaning. You can still keep it light and funny, but I think more cleverness is needed to achieve that. From the aforementioned line onward, you're getting into the matter, but I think you could do it better with the original Goliath story and the great unliklihood that David could have slung a stone with that accuracy - that's faith.
Re: part by Adriaan	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/4:43 PM
Raindrop is to tear, as acid is to salt.
Re: Flower of Life by longships	Dovina 69.175.32.104	27-Feb-06/4:39 PM
I suggest cutting half the words, which I think will make it twice as strong. Sample: Calm as a still ocean Warm as a summer breeze
Re: Flower of Life by longships	longships 195.93.21.2	27-Feb-06/4:10 PM
In memory of my grandmother
Re: part by Adriaan	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	27-Feb-06/3:49 PM
Drop acid lately?
Re: The Acorn Daisies by MacFrantic	horus8 24.126.116.245	27-Feb-06/3:34 PM
ewee.