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Flower of Life (Free verse) by longships
You were a flower in bloom Brightly coloured in generosity and honesty. Surrounded by a large circle of family and friends Always smiling and laughing Eager to help Your home a place of refuge. You held the calmness of a still ocean And the warmth of a summer breeze Surrounding all with your kindness. A kindness rewarded with love from all that knew you Generous to a fault you gave with no thought of receipt. Yet now you shall be remembered thus As a flower forever in bloom

Down the ladder: lip balm

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.9205313
Overall Rank: 9519
Posted: February 27, 2006 4:09 PM PST; Last modified: February 27, 2006 4:11 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] longships @ 195.93.21.2 | 27-Feb-06/4:10 PM | Reply
In memory of my grandmother
[6] Dovina @ 69.175.32.104 | 27-Feb-06/4:39 PM | Reply
I suggest cutting half the words, which I think will make it twice as strong.

Sample:
Calm as a still ocean
Warm as a summer breeze
[7] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > Dovina | 1-Mar-06/9:56 AM | Reply
I'm not convinced that would work in a poem written purposefully to someone.
I quite like it as it is.
[7] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > Ranger | 1-Mar-06/9:58 AM | Reply
longships, you have lots of poems posted on here, yet you haven't voted or commented on anyone else's work! What's going on?!?
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