affei09
on I Can't Move On by Sirens_Voice
28 Aug 2004, 1:50 AM
i love it
Lachrymose means cause of tears
great! i agree
cute
great job!! i love it!
i can really relate to your poem coz im on an ldr
I'm sorry that was the best you could do - I forgive you lack of thought.
Would it really matter if it was a pimple?
Spank you Mr.London!I'll send you a new boy when I can.
COME ON PEOPLE GIVE ME SOME FEED BACK ON THIS ONE PLEASE!!!!!!
NICE!!
WOW!! I REALLLLY LIKE THIS!!!! GREAT JOB
YOU HAD SO MANY UNCONNECTED THINGS THAT MADE IT GRABBY!!!
wilco
on Swimming in Space & Fishing for the Luridness Monster by SupremeDreamer
27 Aug 2004, 8:18 PM
A bit wordy for my taste, but still not too shabby.
As I said: Not your best, but still one of the top 5 I've read today (Excluding the Dylan Thomas).
As usual, good job.
Ok, I'm reading his as someone questioning their faith. That may not be what you're trying to convey, but that's how I read it. It is funny how the Christian fith is so gloomy and dark in nature. I don't understand why it has to have all these depressing icons to build up a point about eternal happiness.
Anyway, I think this is a good construcion of te idea: "Searching for the strength to die, without somewhere to go." It's a scary thought that when you die it's all over. That's why religion is important: It gives us a reason to live AND a reason to die.
I agree that the title is a bit too blatant. I thought about calling it R.E.M., but that seemed wrong for obvious reasons. If you can think of something I'd love to hear it. That one line doesn't seem to read awkwardly to me...maybe it's my southern..ness. I don't know. Either way, I'll play with it and see about a revamped version.I'll think on the title too. Thanks.
agree. not bad, not good. though perhaps you've spoiled me now on other poems of yours.