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solitude (Free verse) by darylchew
he lies alone in bed, lost in a sea of solitude, wave after wave of emotion sweeps over him, as he waits. those lips he'll never kiss. the words he'll never hear. wishful thinking. self-deception. who is he kidding? the clock struck midnight. impulsively he grabs the white pills. and they are thrown into the abyss, never to see the light of day. lying in a foetal position, clutching his stomach. on bedsheets reeking of vomit. ..he never stirred. the birds sang a mournful requiem that morning.


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Arithmetic Mean: 5.142857
Weighted score: 5.03842
Overall Rank: 7205
Posted: August 27, 2004 7:37 AM PDT; Last modified: August 27, 2004 7:37 AM PDT
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Comments:
[3] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 | 27-Aug-04/9:55 AM | Reply
Poems about suicide either relieve the tendency or increase it. Some of them make suicide look ordinary and alright, an individual choice, and not unkind. Some folks may vote you down because you have said nothing about a rather permanent decision and all that it ignores. I am one of them.
[n/a] darylchew @ 202.156.2.130 > Dovina | 27-Aug-04/10:28 PM | Reply
thank you for the comments. i'll take note and improve. anyway this is only my first poem! ><
[3] nentwined @ 66.92.28.14 | 27-Aug-04/2:58 PM | Reply
amazingly cliche. a nearly perfect pimple.
[n/a] BigB @ 202.156.2.50 | 27-Aug-04/10:51 PM | Reply
its not bad.i like it!
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