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saltwater bath

Member since 2003 · Posted 27 Apr 2004 · 6 comments

Absence of sorrow fills my mind Tears burn the back side of my eyes, but I donât cry Iâm silent among singers Sweet, distant, and incomplete Sad songs sound like sexual encounters Burning bed sheets feel Like beds of flowers Answers laughing Anguish screeching There is No Prescription Bravery The refusal of your emotional Slavery Iâm not stopping here This isnât my choice It Never Was You found me running I saw you falling We collided But you said it was love And I Believed You

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mean 5.14 weighted 5.04 rank 7202 views 207 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

6 comments

[5] deleted user 27-Apr-04/5:36 PM Reply

How can the absense of something fill something? Absenteeism?
Best lines: You found me running/ I saw you falling/ We collided

[n/a] richa › deleted user 29-Apr-04/3:50 AM Reply

meta-thought?

[n/a] J.B. Manning 27-Apr-04/8:17 PM Reply

The absense of sorrow fills my mind...meaning that sorrow is not present. I dunno, I worded it that way with the intention of suggesting that sorrow was there, trying to invade my thoughts, but I wouldn't let it.

[4] Joe-joe 28-Apr-04/4:22 PM Reply

The Law of Diminishing Returns asserts that marginal gains in profit begin to decrease at a certain point of production and that this reduction continues as more output is produced until marginal gains are actually negative (negative returns). I believe that this princiiple is actually at play with regard to your work which continues to be highly fragmented and disjointed, lacks originality and is agonizingly melodramatic. It all smells so much like a sorry assed soap opera...Hey but who am I to judge you .....my writing sucks too. Peace Joe-Joe

[n/a] J.B. Manning › Joe-joe 29-Apr-04/12:26 AM Reply

I'm crushed! I wrote it just for YOU!!

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 29-Apr-04/2:15 AM Reply

DR E CARAWAX'S PROTOTYPE CHECKLISTE MARK II

[X] Arbitrary indentation
[X] Arbitrary linebreaks
[X] Melodramatic
[X] About romantic love
[X] Protaganist is a bummer