Re: The Call Of Cannons by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	1-Jan-21/6:40 PM
(petals of love, not pedals, I believe you meant?)
Re: Reason by Dovina	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	1-Jan-21/6:45 PM
Love the last stanza, the sound matches the actions beautifully
Re: Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/1:12 PM
I love some of this! But great lines lose impact when mixed in with cliches. The last stanza is marvelous.
Re: Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/1:12 PM
I love some of this! But great lines lose impact when mixed in with cliches. The last stanza is marvelous.
Re: Poetic Soup [revised] by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/5:35 PM
Liked this! (oh- spell cannot as one word...)
Re: Necromancers Song (Incubus Guitar & Buddhist Drums) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/5:42 PM
moon's midnight (add apostrophe)- you might consider using "among" the stars or even "with" the stars- or "along with the winking stars." Liked winking in there! liquor's been drained (apostrophe- standing for the liquor has been drained). I really liked "the home where our questionable demeanor was accepted, at times applauded" and felt that was next sadly contradicted by "or draped with scorn"- maybe soften that with- or occasionally draped with scorn? Liked this very much, good capture of a scene- good question at the end!
Re: Some follow marchers- others take time to understand it. by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/5:50 PM
great line: "blood is still a favored paint" accidental typo in abundant, the "n" was dropped need an apostrophe in won't-and in poet's in "a poet's work" and in i'm (i'm accustomed) might be stronger to leave poets out of the first stanza since they are such a strong element in the second stanza. I liked "rainbow wizard in a pointy hat- very cute! Liked this overall, appreciated the point made... excellent line: emotions have....an abundant supply of lips in motion
Re: A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/5:52 PM
clever!
Re: Serendipity (title suggestions wanted) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/5:56 PM
Maybe title it Growth? add an apostrophe to one's in one's mind loved line: blossom with roots/ entwined deep within the soil--lovely. really like the last 3 lines.
Re: A Poet's Rifle by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:01 PM
you have a quill in the first line, a pen at the end- I think it would help to have "pen" in the first and last stanzas. arctic has two c's in it. Could have a capital a for Arctic, but does not have to. Cute reworking of the sentiment "I'll give you my guns when you pry them from my cold, dead hands"-
Re: A wicked rose grows in God's grapevine. by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:06 PM
to stand is the opposite of being supine (2nd line) child's toy add an apostrophe I presume you are purposefully playing with the words faltered and faulted, deliberately combining them to coin a new word (faultered)?
Re: Musings: Willow Sculpture by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:10 PM
really liked "lachrymose blades" for the weeping willow's branches and leaves-and you provide a somewhat surprising, good ending! Recommend using a colon after living statue. Semicolons are for joining 2 complete sentences.
Re: Padre's Gumbo by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:14 PM
Should be no comma in the second line. Should be- is an image- (an, not a) You might consider using "awarded the gold medal.", instead of "receiver of the gold medal"- just a suggestion.
Re: Pyrrhus smoked the sun by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:16 PM
I found the idea of "as boots scrape the last grains/ of our spirit into the receding ebbtide" a bit too opaque
Re: Dawns Blood Concealed by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:18 PM
candent veins- intense! I don't see how suspense is ever really placid... liked the ending1 Strong!
Re: The Sinners Saloon by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:19 PM
Recommend an apostrophe for Sinners' Saloon- (Saloon of Sinners)--what do you have against apostrophes? Good poem.
Re: The Pedagogue and his son by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Jan-21/6:21 PM
it's a bitch... you accidentally dropped the "n" in the word convince...
Re: maternal-infant bonding (rejection) by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:22 PM
mummie's milk... found the poem funny, enjoyed it.
Re: I Have... by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:29 PM
like many of the lines, such as "forging art from thought by crafting verse. The lines are uneven, some just do not match the craft of other lines... need apostrophes in poet's craft...one's imperfections...one's imaginary...one's self-perfection you do carry the argument through the whole poem...
Re: Eris, my blade, the accurst villanelle by SupremeDreamer	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	2-Jan-21/6:33 PM
foe's flesh...cannot (one word) shan't (shall not, a contraction) like how you were careful with the metaphor (this poem is a blade) so it is fitting you would "sheathe" it if it does not sell-great last line!