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Dawns Blood Concealed (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
Theres the calm stillness that embraces the morning with bloody sun-streaks splayed upon a spotted window-- it beckons the sleepers from their picturesque dreams to yawn and stretch, letting their eyes absorb the vermilion light and then bathe in mornings fresh warmth-- daybreaks sun-spilled blood; empowered by feeding on the candent veins of earth. There is soft whispering at night, then placid suspense before the morning vampires feed upon deathly sacrifice-- afterwards rinsing the coagulated stains that coat their deep-tan flesh to then emerge from their reputable households outwardly civil, bourgeois, hygienic, aesthetic, discreet, and corrupted underneath.

Up the ladder: Don't Care
Down the ladder: What I Wouldn't Give

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7758
Posted: February 16, 2004 3:51 AM PST; Last modified: February 16, 2004 3:51 AM PST
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Comments:
[5] deleted user @ 67.165.254.252 | 16-Feb-04/10:13 AM | Reply
heard all this type of crap a million times before, can't you be more original?
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.174.207 > deleted user | 16-Feb-04/3:20 PM | Reply
Could you provide an example of what you've read which is the "same type of crap you heard a million times before"?

And don't give me a thousand stupid poems about "morning", because it is small piece of my poems over-all metaphor.. if you haven't noticed theres alot about vampires and blood, and that too has been done a good bit-- BUT, I don't remember any of them talking about vampires in the morning since everyone knows sunlight kills the fuckers?

Then theres the cleansing bit which provides the poem with a fairly sound ending... all-together the poem utilized common subjects together to create a very different context that I think has a pretty original meaning--

In other words its not something thats been done much or at all;
I could be wrong though, because I am undeniably human.. or a mutant hybrid of some sort-- So please provide some evidence or examples that would affirm your vague claims and provide an answer to your grievances?

Me personally- and egotistically? I believe you're simply saying my poem is unoriginal because I compared you're last posted poem to the ones I wrote when I just started puberty.

But everyone has their own day to day conclusions about everything that happens or exists within their own personal interpretation of reality. So the truth is unfortunately deteremined by claims that are largely considered to be true. Shit happens-- Getting spooned with a fork might cure common human confusion?
[5] deleted user @ 67.165.254.252 > SupremeDreamer | 17-Feb-04/11:58 AM | Reply
Get over yourself bud, this has nothing to do with your feeble review of my poem, I just didn't like this. Found it boring, and contrived. It is obvious you can not take any type of criticism, but you sure can dish it out.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.165.205 > deleted user | 17-Feb-04/12:10 PM | Reply
I can take criticism just fine, but when someone says I'm being unoriginal, I'd like them to back it up in some way so that I know they aren't simply talking out of their shit-tube. And also so I can avoid being "unoriginal".

Btw, your last statement pretty much makes my point about your comment being an act of retaliation.. So I don't think I need to get over myself.. but you do!!!

Have a nice day.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 > SupremeDreamer | 17-Feb-04/12:19 PM | Reply
bow'ls
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 > deleted user | 17-Feb-04/12:19 PM | Reply
bow'ls
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 | 17-Feb-04/4:26 AM | Reply
Your beautiful poemes balmilise themselves onto the page like the precious dumplings of a wine-slick dribbled from the lips of an urchin's loom. Truly, yours is an inner brain gland that has been mulled to the point of ecstasy. -10-
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.165.205 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 17-Feb-04/10:59 AM | Reply
Don't forget to pray to my miniature statuette- Remember to say all that you've said in this comment. Thank you.
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