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Dawns Blood Concealed (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer Theres the calm stillness
that embraces the morning
with bloody sun-streaks splayed
upon a spotted window--
it beckons the sleepers
from their picturesque dreams
to yawn and stretch,
letting their eyes
absorb the vermilion light
and then bathe
in mornings fresh warmth--
daybreaks sun-spilled blood;
empowered by feeding
on the candent veins
of earth.
There is soft whispering
at night, then
placid suspense
before the morning vampires
feed upon deathly sacrifice--
afterwards rinsing
the coagulated stains
that coat their deep-tan flesh
to then emerge from their
reputable households
outwardly civil,
bourgeois,
hygienic,
aesthetic,
discreet,
and corrupted underneath.
Up the ladder:
time's concubine
Down the ladder:
The Fence
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.2
Posted: February 16, 2004 3:51 AM PST; Last modified: February 16, 2004 3:51 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.0238404 Overall Rank: 7400 Comments:
Your beautiful poemes balmilise themselves onto the page like the precious dumplings of a wine-slick dribbled from the lips of an urchin's loom. Truly, yours is an inner brain gland that has been mulled to the point of ecstasy. -10-
Don't forget to pray to my miniature statuette- Remember to say all that you've said in this comment. Thank you.
candent veins- intense!
I don't see how suspense is ever really placid... liked the ending1 Strong! 319 view(s)
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And don't give me a thousand stupid poems about "morning", because it is small piece of my poems over-all metaphor.. if you haven't noticed theres alot about vampires and blood, and that too has been done a good bit-- BUT, I don't remember any of them talking about vampires in the morning since everyone knows sunlight kills the fuckers?
Then theres the cleansing bit which provides the poem with a fairly sound ending... all-together the poem utilized common subjects together to create a very different context that I think has a pretty original meaning--
In other words its not something thats been done much or at all;
I could be wrong though, because I am undeniably human.. or a mutant hybrid of some sort-- So please provide some evidence or examples that would affirm your vague claims and provide an answer to your grievances?
Me personally- and egotistically? I believe you're simply saying my poem is unoriginal because I compared you're last posted poem to the ones I wrote when I just started puberty.
But everyone has their own day to day conclusions about everything that happens or exists within their own personal interpretation of reality. So the truth is unfortunately deteremined by claims that are largely considered to be true. Shit happens-- Getting spooned with a fork might cure common human confusion?
Btw, your last statement pretty much makes my point about your comment being an act of retaliation.. So I don't think I need to get over myself.. but you do!!!
Have a nice day.