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A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
[Dedicated to my dominatrix seductress. You wanted me to raise the bar, well heres your dish mademoiselle, enjoy the fruit.] A solution for religion: Extinguish its light; leaving it to float and decay like fish carcass'. (Dynamite fishermen wanted for hire.) While I'm fidgeting with the cosmic soup, playacting the venerable divine father, Why not rectify an old oversight? Even gods undergo temporary retardation. Rather than have two trees in the orchard of Eden: Cross-mate and then atomize the originals, saving the hybrid child. Behold the new sprung fruit tree of the universe! Knowledge and Wisdom combined into a single plum.

Up the ladder: but i was
Down the ladder: Discomfort

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Weighted score: 5.0715218
Overall Rank: 6553
Posted: August 2, 2003 11:45 AM PDT; Last modified: August 23, 2003 12:31 AM PDT
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[10] http://mulberryfairy @ | 2-Aug-03/11:58 AM | Reply
Yeah! You left out an apostrophe in "mother earth's womb."
[n/a] EAger to Offend @ | 2-Aug-03/12:03 PM | Reply
Maybe just "Dynomite fishermen wanted" as if in a classified ad. Also, immolation to me implies "sacred".
I love the ending with the plum instead of an apple. A good thinking work here. I'll vote later when my thought is complete.
[n/a] horus8 @ | 2-Aug-03/12:08 PM | Reply
Sir, your new glasses obviously have confused a raisen for your divinity complex-ion.
[8] richa @ | 3-Aug-03/11:51 AM | Reply
very ambitious.
Last five verses are the best, they could stand as a poem in their own right.

Logic impecable.

First verse is good, nice images.
Not sure about 2 and three.

perhaps a little more subtelty

[8] Jill Stockinger @ 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1 | 2-Jan-21/5:52 PM | Reply
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