Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
[Dedicated to my dominatrix seductress. You wanted me to raise the bar, well heres your dish mademoiselle, enjoy the fruit.] A solution for religion: Extinguish its light; leaving it to float and decay like fish carcass'. (Dynamite fishermen wanted for hire.) While I'm fidgeting with the cosmic soup, playacting the venerable divine father, Why not rectify an old oversight? Even gods undergo temporary retardation. Rather than have two trees in the orchard of Eden: Cross-mate and then atomize the originals, saving the hybrid child. Behold the new sprung fruit tree of the universe! Knowledge and Wisdom combined into a single plum.

Up the ladder: neverland
Down the ladder: On Haiku

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 11

Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7684
Posted: August 2, 2003 11:45 AM PDT; Last modified: August 23, 2003 12:31 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[10] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.82 | 2-Aug-03/11:58 AM | Reply
Yeah! You left out an apostrophe in "mother earth's womb."
[n/a] EAger to Offend @ 65.95.127.148 | 2-Aug-03/12:03 PM | Reply
Maybe just "Dynomite fishermen wanted" as if in a classified ad. Also, immolation to me implies "sacred".
I love the ending with the plum instead of an apple. A good thinking work here. I'll vote later when my thought is complete.
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 2-Aug-03/12:08 PM | Reply
Sir, your new glasses obviously have confused a raisen for your divinity complex-ion.
[8] richa @ 81.86.232.193 | 3-Aug-03/11:51 AM | Reply
very ambitious.
Last five verses are the best, they could stand as a poem in their own right.

Logic impecable.

First verse is good, nice images.
Not sure about 2 and three.

perhaps a little more subtelty

352 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2019 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001