Re: Perfect Time of Year by wilco	3-Nov-04/8:13 PM
why not "leaves fall" and "air turns"?
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Nov-04/8:17 PM
what? A poem about simplicity should be simple.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Nov-04/5:48 AM
The inner being of men souls in measure The one and only means of treasure THis is one for the all time guff files. REally. Could you explain to me what "the inner being of men souls in measure" means? what? oh, of course not.
Re: The Mushrooms' Song by zodiac	4-Nov-04/9:30 AM
I think the last line would work better in the absence of commas. I also think this is great. Mushrooms, reared in so much shit and mulch, waiting and enduring, stoic almost. Pod-monsters is a highlight
Re: Poemranker I Couldn't stay Away by Tara57	5-Nov-04/5:09 AM
i can hear the crickets chirping. listen. can you hear it too?
Re: ishte ishta by IcHronit	5-Nov-04/9:14 AM
you should try to work some AIDS into the poem. That would really give that extry cutting edge.
Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone	5-Nov-04/5:06 PM
The lawn christ I did beard with a few gems that were browne as poo poo They shone like his eyes He, to no ones surprise, looked and smelled like a rich migrant jew
Re: Intersection by INTRANSIT	6-Nov-04/6:05 AM
I always love birds in poetry. The madness they suggest, the wings, the beaks, the smears they leave on your pole. bullshit aside, I really loved the last stanza, brake the stare is a bit cutesy, but doesn't really detract, for me anyway...and i think grinding line could be clearer or simpler or something but am without suggestions. i don't like atop in the first. why not just on. in the second, probes my poll....probes is a suggests something more intrusive than what is actuall going on, though that is not really a problem if that is what you mean...the bird is intruding, perhaps? Keep your pole to yourself. the third is nice with the repetition, but "friend" seems... i don't know. if it were my poem, i would let the reader decide for him or herself whether the bird was friend, foe or other.
Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday	6-Nov-04/8:55 AM
blessed are the poor...period. that is the original ....you have Blessed are the poor in spirit,which is what the church changed it to so as not to put off, or otherwise disturb, the people filling up the collection basket. Save it for church...
Re: One Day I Will be Made of Electric Swords that Will Explode by T. Jonathron Remp	6-Nov-04/9:02 AM
good show.
Re: Sappy Ending by Enkidu	6-Nov-04/9:06 AM
why would he have to rape her, when she was presumably throwing herself at him? i think "sodomized" the princess would be better
Re: tomorrow is another day by hendrimike	6-Nov-04/9:09 AM
dude, i wish these went to 11!
Re: keep on digging by nentwined	8-Nov-04/3:15 PM
I would cut the "they" from the second line, making the statement imperative. Did i just read "a list of diggables" ? Do my eyes deceive me? I dig it. (sorry)
Re: Just Shut Up! Everyone Just Shut Up! by MacFrantic	8-Nov-04/3:18 PM
I love drunken diatribes. ONly reason to go, really. I have to give this a 10, just for "meatballism"
Re: Stayed Too Long by poetryman	8-Nov-04/9:04 PM
a turtle strokes its way through a puddle of creamed corn. she turns coldly, glaring beneath her shades, smoke gushing from her face. she speaks. we see her missing teeth. A force beyond my control pushes at the seams in my denim trousers.
Re: In the office by phauge	8-Nov-04/9:09 PM
perhaps during the hours of boredom, you might read, or, I don't know, learn how to spell? Or, here is another idea...focus on whatever task you are performing, so as not to completely fuck it up. what is gimmie? If only you had rhymed something with 'drano', this would have been an automatic 10
Re: Down by phauge	8-Nov-04/9:12 PM
now this i think is kinda funny and kinda good. if only you had made the half rhyme of tuna and you a bit more obvious....still a 10
Re: Where I work by phauge	8-Nov-04/9:15 PM
freaking....this is wrong. either use "fucking" or some other word that stands on its own and is not some chilly euphemism for a real word. though I don't suppose it really matters, as this is most likely written on a post-it note and destined for the trash anyway.
Re: "I post here cause I have a lot of readers" by Bachus	9-Nov-04/7:53 PM
Yikes...
Re: Leftout by RION12	10-Nov-04/6:08 AM
"i'm a creep and i'm a weirdo what the hell am i doing here? I don't belong here" interesting the way you write "leftout" as one word. radiohead circa 1990 something unperfect. strangely, i think this may be better than imperfect. you are just unwanted