Re: Small Furies by Enkidu	4-Oct-05/8:14 PM
pretty good story...wouldn't surprise me if it were true. I don't like the title, though...it's almost doubling up since Satan is widely regarded to be the devil and vice versa.
Re: Ode to the Sun by TLRufener	3-Oct-05/8:53 PM
work on it and tighten it up a bit and this isn't too bad. As it stands - 7.
Re: a comment on sap's pay by ay deee	3-Oct-05/7:56 PM
Well...so you're doing a shit job for shit money...is that it...I guess I was looking for something deeper...
Re: Idle by MacFrantic	3-Oct-05/1:37 PM
There's a song on the new Death Cab For Cutie album that this kind of reminds me of I think because of the simplicity and the signs...it's called "I will Follow You Into the Dark". This, I'm sorry tom say is not as good as that, but not a bad effort.
Re: Lost (not a poem) by Caducus	3-Oct-05/1:35 PM
This just doesn't have the...i don't know...vagueness I've come to expect from you. It didn't make me think. There's some good lines here but I think it could benefit from you MAKING it a poem.
Re: I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	3-Oct-05/1:32 PM
Rhyming is overrated. This is a good poem about that, but it's just not that interesting...sorry.
Re: sap's pay by ay deee	3-Oct-05/1:28 PM
I just don't get it...maybe I'm thick.
Re: capital punishment by hendrimike	3-Oct-05/1:27 PM
Try adding some punctuation to make it a little easier to read. Also, proofread. "Sentenced me to", not too.
Re: Escape by Heather Dee	3-Oct-05/1:25 PM
Try saying it without the restriction of rhyme. As another recent poem states...rhyme is wholly overrated.
Re: a comment on No Aegis by wilco	2-Oct-05/8:58 PM
The gulls most definitely are not becoming bored with the corpses.
Re: False Reality by jlynnwall	2-Oct-05/8:26 PM
I like shades of drawn conclusions. Keep working on it.
Re: Through Your Eyes... by jlynnwall	2-Oct-05/8:25 PM
waaaay too much repetition.
Re: Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	2-Oct-05/8:18 PM
mmm...not your best, dear.
Re: a comment on The Play by Hadasl	2-Oct-05/8:17 PM
Clear ideas are overrated. I almost never have one when I write.
Re: After her storm (draft) by Caducus	2-Oct-05/8:13 PM
Lovely as always.
Re: a comment on Renewal by emilyowey	1-Oct-05/8:16 PM
Chlorophyl? More like BOREophyl. That said, a pretty goo poeme.
Re: Of the Lady on the Bridge by Verse2Verse	30-Sep-05/2:58 PM
I'd leave off the opening statement...and then proofread it..."to this to this shadowy bridge"? I'm guessing a typo...
Re: The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void	29-Sep-05/10:01 PM
this just doesnt make much sense....
Re: a comment on Yield by wilco	29-Sep-05/9:50 PM
wow thanks.
Re: a comment on Sunrise On The Slag Heap by Caducus	29-Sep-05/9:48 PM
Be thankful for where you are...Here in Memphis, poetry is pretty much just something like I killed a nigga and then raped his bitch and then I robbed some shit and then I killed a cop and did some more illegal shit. pretty good stuff..