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After her storm (draft) (Free verse) by Caducus
On beach pale shores of her skin Tears fell like waves I was her tide God From the storm she made. Shells whispered her secrets Then sank in her fleece With me, Her pale sickened moon. Limbs of lightening touched her From the thunder she made Entering inside her This invited raping roared Till all was calm And her storm left once it came. Darling, You are tide to my love. Ocean to my moon, Yet you control me with storms And it has to stop raining tears For too much salt makes dead seas. I will always drown in you, Sleep on your bed of whispers And kiss the mouths of shells Telling them I love you. So send a wave One that falls just for me, And I will ride that wave To die at shore Leaving you my heart To pulse within you. I'll be always falling On my island of silent shells you left And you'll reach me always, For I am inside you Above and around you My love, I have found you. The storm is over now All is calm at sea.

Up the ladder: Untitled (a draft)
Down the ladder: Equality

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.0397344
Overall Rank: 7125
Posted: September 29, 2005 7:27 AM PDT; Last modified: September 29, 2005 7:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[8] jlynnwall @ 66.212.10.198 | 29-Sep-05/8:08 AM | Reply
This poem was extremely beautiful. I love the theme of her tears with the sea and storms. The only small suggestion I might make is to remove the word "darling", I think it takes a little away from the beauty of the rest of the poem.
[8] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 2-Oct-05/8:13 PM | Reply
Lovely as always.
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