poemranker ::Why I’m Homeless by Dovina

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Free verse № 131526

Why I’m Homeless

Member since 2004 · Posted 2 Oct 2005 · 12 comments

Straight-laced and clean they’d expect scruples intelligence and fun. Good smelling clothes say to the world: considerate of women banterer with men. But in this sadder, better role any gesture: wisdom or kindness- appears magnified. Any pleasure offered in return I take as alms truly meant.

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mean 6.60 weighted 5.19 rank 4708 views 289 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

12 comments

[6] wilco 2-Oct-05/8:18 PM Reply
mmm...not your best, dear.
[n/a] ALChemy 3-Oct-05/7:26 PM Reply
Everyone has a home. You've just got to find it.
[n/a] richa › ALChemy 4-Oct-05/11:39 AM Reply
not the homeless. :(
[n/a] ALChemy › richa 4-Oct-05/1:44 PM Reply
Are you talking about the houseless or the apartmentless or the caveless or maybe the cardboard boxless. :P
[10] zodiac 5-Oct-05/1:58 AM Reply
Drop the colons. Great.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 5-Oct-05/3:51 PM Reply
Yeah, I think dashes would be better.
[10] zodiac › Dovina 7-Oct-05/7:12 AM Reply
I think nothing would be better.

That reminds me: drop the dash after kindness.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 7-Oct-05/3:30 PM Reply
Punctuate, don't punctuate - : Can't you ever be consistent?!:-
[10] zodiac › Dovina 8-Oct-05/3:08 AM Reply
Are you joking? I mean don't punctuate where it's unnecessary and punctuate where it is. Have you ever tried checking your poems in prose format? I.e.,

But in this sadder, better role any gesture: wisdom or kindness - appears magnified.

Actually, it seems to me like commas would work best. Sorry to be such a predictable homebody.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 8-Oct-05/4:17 AM Reply
We love you that way.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer 19-Feb-07/5:55 PM Reply
What image are you going for? Where is the image? That's all.
[n/a] Dovina › SupremeDreamer 19-Feb-07/9:02 PM Reply
To see someone and picture what he thinks. That's all.