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sap's pay (Free verse) by ay deee cleanin out shit traps
all day
no way
sortin out bit scraps
all grey
no play
waddya say
we send away
and order up some treasure maps
Up the ladder:
My Time In Jail
Down the ladder:
loud clubbin
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Posted: October 2, 2005 9:15 PM PDT; Last modified: October 2, 2005 9:15 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9284782 Overall Rank: 9382 Comments:
Are you Kris Novoselic? Or the Meat Puppets?
both.
why do you ask?
You have a very grunge predilection for say/away/day/play rhymes.
Personally, I think you should consider another line of work.
in this poem, i did go for that rhyme pattern
this is not my line of work visual art is my line of work, mostly sculpture writing is a roundabout way of sifting ideas for me but thank you for your consideration, and if you have anything constructive to say about my writing, i would greatly appreciate that sentiment as well. i was told by sculpture advisors to take my writing somewhere where people who knew things about writing could help (not sculptors). 166 view(s)
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you're not so thick, you almost get it.
so i'm not doing a shit job, but i am writing from the perspecitve of one who does a shit job
and it's not so much the amount of money in the poem, but what is being done with it that is important.
maybe you should deepen your definition of deeper.