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A Child Once More (Free verse) by Quarton Oh, to be a child once more,
imagination free and allowed to soar.
To laugh out loud, no facade to project,
or other's truths to embrace or reject.
To awaken each day with an open mind,
life's myriad mysteries still to find.
The future alive with promise and hope,
no negative thoughts with which to cope.
To view the world unburdened by sorrow,
no cynicism clouding today or tomorrow.
To see without preconception's shroud,
away from the mindless, jostling crowd.
Gone the concepts of intolerance and hate,
unaware of judgment at hellsfire's gate.
Vengeance and jealousy not yet conceived,
life's essence love, both given and received.
Oh, to be a child one more,
no finalities knocking at the door.
All things new and wondrous again,
not even a poet's thoughts to pen.
Up the ladder:
A smile
Down the ladder:
Devil's Deal
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.4
Posted: July 8, 2004 3:58 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2004 3:58 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9284782 Overall Rank: 9351 Comments:
[7]
Dovina @ 17.255.240.138
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8-Jul-04/5:07 PM
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Reply
Though quite touching in its meter and cozy reflection, some childhood recollections don't match up. For example, no "other's truths to embrace or reject," suggests I always agreed with my parents. And I had some "negative thoughts with which to cope." Sometimes I was not "unburdened by sorrow." Well, you get the point, and I'm getting yours - that adult life brings on an unwelcome complexity of worries. But maybe they're just more current.
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.42.186.254
> Dovina
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9-Jul-04/1:07 AM
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Reply
Childhood was a difficult time for me. I was frequently snubbed and tossed aside by my peers. In desperation, I turned to the Lord for guidance. He told me to hold my head up high and keep praying. During the long hours of Bible study, I developed a fascination for crustaceans and watching football. It was at a football match that I first learnt about the values of teamwork and a steadfast commitment to excellence. Pretty soon I was able to apply these qualities to my everyday life, furthering my understanding of crustaceans and their habitats. That night I didn't sleep, but stayed up praying to Christ thanking Him for sharing His wisdom at what was a difficult time in my life. The rest, as they say, is history.
[7]
Dovina @ 24.52.157.176
> -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
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9-Jul-04/11:09 AM
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Teamwork, really?
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.42.186.254
> Dovina
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9-Jul-04/1:59 PM
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Yes. You sound skeptical, though. I'll admit I haven't always been the best team player, often spending long periods of time indoors and away from other children. But it was through studying footballers, and crustaceans, that I learnt about the importance of cooperation and mutual understanding. For example, large prawn colonies in the southern pacific have been known to stay together for hundreds of generations, spanning periods of over fifty years. Large teams of marine biologists who specialize in prawns have spent a good deal of time researching their social interactions.
Childhood was the most painful time of my life.
It was only later that I learned that pain was caused the huge growth of my vast penis causing a massive strain on my pelvic floor. It was not until I was diagnosed as having the largest cock in the whole world that I was able to apply for a grant from local government to have a brace made for my legs and back to support the colossal weight of my huge throbbing member. So I will thank you not to write about childhood without reference to children who are afflicted with such terrible afflictions. And what about the islamists, eh?
The rhymes kill this thing, Quarton, and its such a universal thought that's been captured in quotes and one-liners that to describe it this way - even though you've got some good word choices - is an uphill battle. More like a brick-wall battle.
Yes, the rhyme is diffiult and for most, it is best avoided. Frost, Blake and other earlier poets used rhyme almost exclusively but they were in a different league than me. Still, it has a certain appeal if the words are not forced and the meter is evident. Most of the poems I read online use rhyme and are generally quite awful. In fact, I almost always encourage dropping the rhyme in favor of free verse so your suggestions only reinforce what I already know. Yet, I continue to write an occasional rhyming poem even though I know it will probably be rightly criticized. Thanks for the comments.
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