| Re: Intimate Joy by flightoffancy |
25-Oct-05/7:17 PM |
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The uncrossable void line doesn't really work
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| Re: a comment on Take Heart Mr. Drake, the Worst is Behind You by wilco |
24-Oct-05/8:12 PM |
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There are parts I don't like and I'm working on it lyrically, but I got tired of fooling with it tonight. I hate the lost the fight line but thats how I want the line to go (flow wise) and I left it in so I don't forget it later.
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| Re: Ruins by Caducus |
24-Oct-05/8:10 PM |
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Not the best I've seen from you..
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| Re: untitled rubiayait 2 by starkfister |
24-Oct-05/7:54 PM |
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| Re: a comment on In my palm by Prince of Void |
24-Oct-05/7:52 PM |
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Come on feel The Lemonheads..
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| Re: Eternity by Dovina |
24-Oct-05/7:25 PM |
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I think you should have stopped after the location line and it would've been pretty okay, but I think the last half kills it.
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| Re: Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac |
24-Oct-05/6:57 PM |
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The falling into religion part is great and I rather like the -ly
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| Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis. by SupremeDreamer |
13-Oct-05/1:13 PM |
Hey, haven't seen you in a while dreamersupremer.
On the subject of this poem..it's just too damn long and there's just not enough interesting here to necessitate it being that long (I started wishing for Cliff's Notes). It's good and I almst gave a 9 but it needs to be shortended.
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| Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim |
13-Oct-05/1:07 PM |
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I love the title. I don't like the poem, but I love the title.
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| Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim |
13-Oct-05/1:06 PM |
OK, I feel the need to tell you that Poetry.com is a scam. Well, not really...you'll get your book but know this...it's not going to be sold at your local Barnes & Noble. They publish everybody that wants to be published. They give awards to everybody that pays them.
So, save your money, pal. If you've already paid..well keep the book on the coffee tabls, tell women you're a published poet and get some ass out of it.
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| Re: untitled rhyme royal 3 by starkfister |
13-Oct-05/12:58 PM |
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I want to give this a three but for some reason I like it....
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| Re: a comment on Rocky Road by Dovina |
13-Oct-05/12:48 PM |
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Oh, come one, you know you saw the word tits and instantly got a hard-on.
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| Re: a comment on Adelaide by wilco |
13-Oct-05/12:44 PM |
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I don't think you're interpreting it as I meant it..but that's a good thing if there's different interpretations.
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| Re: a comment on Adelaide by wilco |
13-Oct-05/12:43 PM |
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It's a city in Australia.
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| Re: Skyline by MacFrantic |
11-Oct-05/8:41 PM |
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Not bad, guy, but I think it's a little long....
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| Re: Keep on Going by april fool |
11-Oct-05/8:29 PM |
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ok, will do. So, now take this advice and write yourself another poem.
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| Re: hide and seek by oneglove |
4-Oct-05/8:35 PM |
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| Re: Pebbles by Verse2Verse |
4-Oct-05/8:27 PM |
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Some good stuff here, but trim it a little.
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| Re: A Light in the Dark by Verse2Verse |
4-Oct-05/8:25 PM |
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It started out okay but then just sort of meandered into mediocrity. Shorten it up and try saying what you want to say with less.
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| Re: The chestnut by richa |
4-Oct-05/8:17 PM |
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not bad, rich, not bad at all.
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