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Take heart, you are closer than you know (Free verse) by Bobjim
When you were down and full of woe, And you sought an angel's comfort. You came to me, to pray to God, For help, to see his face up close. And so I turned to you and said, "Take heart, You are closer than you know." When you said your heart was broken, And wanted solace from a friend. You cried that you just want true love, Something you feared you'd never find. To calm your fears I said to you, "Take heart, You are closer than you know." Soon after I was lost to you. And you were sad and all alone, You wandered lonely through the night, A hopeless search for one you knew. Your spirit heard my call to you, "Take heart, I am closer than you know."

Up the ladder: moving away

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.134471
Overall Rank: 5596
Posted: August 18, 2005 6:50 AM PDT; Last modified: October 12, 2005 8:44 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] woodstock20000 @ 209.40.29.18 | 18-Aug-05/12:31 PM | Reply
Bless.
[9] Bethy @ 24.222.32.246 | 18-Aug-05/3:46 PM | Reply
Beautiful...gave me goose bumps...it reminds me of someone I know...:) Bethy
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 19-Aug-05/7:07 AM | Reply
WAY FAY, WAY STY, SAY AY I. As an acrostic it sounds kinda cool in a nonsense way. I know it's not intended but your Microsoft Word program put caps at the begining of all your lines. So at first I thought you might be doing some kind of acrostic poem. Nice, warm, religious. Kind of like a spiritual.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.132.19 > ALChemy | 19-Aug-05/8:32 AM | Reply
Thanks.
[10] zodiac @ 212.118.19.46 | 20-Aug-05/5:54 AM | Reply
I love the title. I wish the poem was about something else. -10-
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.132.26 > zodiac | 22-Aug-05/1:52 AM | Reply
I actually started with the title and wrote the poem around it. There are three other variations but I thought this was the best.
[8] Sasha @ 68.49.8.49 | 21-Aug-05/6:37 AM | Reply
Powerful, could use some tighter language. But powerful
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.132.26 > Sasha | 22-Aug-05/1:53 AM | Reply
How do you mean tighter?
[n/a] Bobjim @ 84.9.160.81 | 12-Oct-05/8:46 AM | Reply
I thought I'd better resubmit this poem since it's now being published and got me nominated for a Best Poet Award. Just so I could show-off. :D
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > Bobjim | 12-Oct-05/2:07 PM | Reply
Warning: Prepare for the onslaught.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.79.206 > ALChemy | 13-Oct-05/5:37 AM | Reply
Do your worst. I'm ready for you.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > Bobjim | 13-Oct-05/6:16 AM | Reply
Not me.
I'm more than happy for you and your Christian poetry publication fans.

No really though who published it?

Trust me I'm not the one you should be readying for but maybe you'll luck out.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.79.206 > ALChemy | 13-Oct-05/7:15 AM | Reply
It's not actually Christian.
And it's being published by Poetry.com in a book called Eternal Portraits.
[6] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 > Bobjim | 13-Oct-05/1:06 PM | Reply
OK, I feel the need to tell you that Poetry.com is a scam. Well, not really...you'll get your book but know this...it's not going to be sold at your local Barnes & Noble. They publish everybody that wants to be published. They give awards to everybody that pays them.

So, save your money, pal. If you've already paid..well keep the book on the coffee tabls, tell women you're a published poet and get some ass out of it.

[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.177.15 > wilco | 17-Oct-05/8:21 AM | Reply
Thanks for the warning. I wasn't going to buy it anyway.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 24.74.101.159 > Bobjim | 13-Oct-05/3:18 PM | Reply
Go to http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/poetry.com.scam.php
for more info.
It also gives a list of other famous writer scams.
Don't feel bad. I submitted. Hell, it was free and they give you that letter to show off to gullible women who like poets. So far no proof that these women exist though.
My suggestion: Hurry up and delete your poem here and resubmit it sans comments.
[6] wilco @ 66.61.101.130 | 13-Oct-05/1:07 PM | Reply
I love the title. I don't like the poem, but I love the title.
[n/a] Bobjim @ 143.167.177.15 > wilco | 17-Oct-05/8:24 AM | Reply
As I said above, I actually started with the title.
And I agree with you, I never thought this one was much good. I just couldn't get the wording right.
[7] Scarlett @ 66.210.233.6 | 8-Mar-06/2:10 PM | Reply
When I read this, I was humming along, as if written for a song. Enjoyed..
[n/a] Bobjim @ 84.9.184.25 > Scarlett | 8-Mar-06/2:27 PM | Reply
Well I'm glad you thought it fit the rhythm I set, I didn't think it worked that well.
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